Thiccolas Cage

jokes mostly

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

It takes a child to raze a village

[CNN @CNN]

A fire sparked by a pyrotechnic device used during a gender reveal party has burned more than 10,000 acres since Saturday https://t.co/xOeTim6uFE

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

The cia invented pretzel M&Ms because they dont wanna see me prosper

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

The producers of americas got talent really hated my idea for a show called americas got an opiod crisis

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

Oh don't you worry, I will be dealt with. My day is coming

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

You dont know someone until youve shit a mile in their pants

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

Call me weird but I find the taste of grain alcohol extremely intoxicating

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

@frontierism The one about ninjas changed my life and I think JFK’s head just did that on its own

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

The only 3 types of commercials now are medicines for moderate to severe crohns disease, insurance companies partially owned by Shaquille O’Neal, or fast food franchises that will give you Crohn’s disease and are, inexplicably, somehow also partially owned by Shaquille O’Neal.

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

Youve met me at a very drunk time in my life

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

The fourth leche is time

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

I was a dead deer. You were a turkey vulture removing my organs through my ass. Our love could never work

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

We only had video rental stores for like 20 years. It was a strange and beautiful flower, blooming for one short technological era before getting trampled by the next one. I could only hope to impart a legacy half as powerful

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

Our lives are often the byproduct of our time and place, framed by metaphysical latitudes we could only guess at, but within these certain predestined route paths, there is still choice. And one choice shines brighter than most: Tuesday beers player who’s with me

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

American history text books dont want you to know Woodrow Wilson flattened much of Latin America by piloting Paul Bunyan like a gundam

[grayfruit @thegrayfruit]

shadow of the colossus type game where you take down american kaijus like manifest destiny and paul bunyan

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

The reason I know ghosts aren’t real is because they’re always people. If they were real there would be ghost animals too. Wake up in the middle of the night and a horse in victorian clothes just lookin at you

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

Movie about a priest turned basketball player: Air Friar

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

Just another day of being the hottest bitch at the grocery store

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

They call me Neil Young the way I’m getting old

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

You should be able to take a screenshot with your windshield

[Thiccolas Cage @Murphischillin]

Luncheonette is a pretty name for a girl