Murphy's Law

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

Can anyone tell me why every headphone's 1 volume is a medium volume and 10 is stadium level loud? #SundayMorning

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

Jeff Saturday first time coaching in the NFL and getting a win, him at his press conference after the game @PatMcAfeeShow

[ℰ𝓁𝒾✨ @elithatb]

Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 3rd sneeze, lets get it together.

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

Heads up for anyone that's friends with me on Instagram, my account got hacked if you see a message from me do not respond. Please report the account and delete it.

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

So I just found out there's professional pickleball and my next Amazon purchase will be a paddle and a rule book #Athleteoftheyear

[Hondo Brant @OldNo7Brant]

Could you imagine being an NFL prospect on draft day and your phone rings and it’s “We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.”

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

After doing minimal to no research and having watch no previous college basketball games this year, I don't believe I should be getting this upset about how poor my bracket is doing, but here we are. #MarchMadness2021

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

I think we all need to take a good look in the mirror and ask ourself a tough question.... why isn't pickleball in the Olympics yet?

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

Everyday skills that I cannot do that I consider a superpower
1. Being able to take a "quick power" nap, it's either 3 hrs or no nap
2. Not eating an entire tray of oreo cookies after opening them.
3. Being able to go to the bar for only a couple drinks and leaving.

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

The biggest lie I ever told was to myself, when I bought two subs one for dinner and the other for lunch the next day knowing full well that second one wouldn't make it to sundown. #maybenexttime #cantstopwontstop

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

I believe one of the new herculean tasks should be being able to open one of those grocery bags in the self check out aisle that seem to have been sealed by the gods. #tookme5minutes #everyonebehindmewasstaring
#almostleftmystuffthere

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

I see a lot of people doing the healthly life style and let me tell you it's tough work. Yesterday, I ordered a plethora of wings. Could of ate them all, instead I thought healthy and saved half for when I would be hungry a hour later. #fitness

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

Top ten feeling is at the end of the month and you check your data and you've only used half. Your next thought is "I'm gunna look up so much shit".

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

Thanksgiving, the day where you say you're going to see the family but the past three months you've been gameplaning what's going on your first, second, and third plate. Followed by a food coma and then your final dessert plate. #HappyThanksgiving

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

To the guy who bought wireless headphones and then bought the straps so you dont lose them, sorry to tell ya buddy but you've been had, hoodwinked, bamboozled.

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

@jordanhuber23 Hey, another great tweet supervisor Jor. Thank you for sharing.

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

So, I was on YouTube after getting some homework done and wound up looking up life hacks. I found out apparently each hack is just showing me how I'm doing simple things the wrong way. So, in conclusion twitter I'll be staying away from YouTube awhile.

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

I swear, I take condiments like I pack clothes for vacation. I walk out of wherever I'm getting food, looking like a 50's gangster who just robbed a bank and needs a place to stash the loot.

P.s. If anyone needs some mayo packets, I know a guy.

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

@jordanhuber23 #realroommatewould

[Murphy's Law @Murphyslaw2744]

3 biggest lies in life

1. When your mom says you wont get in trouble if you tell her the truth

2. Tinder telling you someone in the area likes you

3. Saying you'll never drink again after drinking way too much the night before