Mustang Daily News

100% Cal Poly student run, 100% satire, 100% better than @CPMustangNews

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

#CalPolyStats A new report shows that 85% of CP engineering students didn't even know we had a liberal arts college.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

@Lil_Shorty_McG @CalPoly shit. Solutions to come soon

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

SEEKING: trash @CalPoly students 2 pass on the torch. Turns out our editors were smart enough 2 graduate afterall! Slide into DMs for deets

[Cal Poly Mustangs @CPMustangs]

Elijah Skipps & Scott Ogrin hit home runs; Spencer Howard & Michael Clark combine on six-hitter in 6-3 win over UCLA https://t.co/x82FFMoxyi

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

#BREAKING: Cal Poly haults all construction after "Master Plan" piggie bank goes missing. Administration confirmed total savings of $17.43.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

BREAKING: Mild rain causes Cal Poly student to panic.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

@CPMustangNews Gala confirms journalism department is still poor.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

Cal Poly helps students cope with test scores with the addition of an on campus bar. Drink up. https://t.co/z8L4FM0Sda

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

So CP white girls can be basic on the go. https://t.co/4vwheS9tsM

[Jeffrey D. Armstrong @CPPrezArmstrong]

We have new food trucks for you, Mustangs! Follow @CPcampusdining to track them down #CalPolyNow

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

Say Hello to all the successful Cal Poly business alumni..Oh wait.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

THIS JUST IN: @CalPoly bought chairs.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

@shmcminn @CPMustangNews can confirm, still a parody. Tbh this one's prob true tho.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

Cal Poly Greek Life petitioned to create a "Greek Only" gym today in an attempt to "keep out the weak-ass GDIs" according to IFC President.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

Demo of VGs begins today in an attempt to "try and forget about that fucking mess," according to CP officials. LIVE: https://t.co/pWETOWFBNP

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

To tackle ongoing funding issues, the CSU system has set a new goal for Cal Poly: 50,000 students by 2020.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

#CalPolyStats A new article claims Cal Poly is "Best in the West," so long as you ignore several other West coast universities.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

Cal Poly investing millions into new dining facilities to "preserve our exceptionally bad reputation," according to an exclusive interview.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

BREAKING: Cal Poly seeks new staff to reiterate, "fucking stop sexually assaulting people." https://t.co/67W7yu7H8X

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

A recent interview with CP football coach revealed that he "would be happy with at least one win," but couldn't confirm it's feasibility.

[Mustang Daily News @MustangDaily]

With SLO Days in full swing, incoming freshmen are being introduced to new campus construction that will be a total fucking inconvenience.