Dan🇰🇪

As above, so below.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kitu nyinyi vijana hamjui,hawa madem wa ubabini huwezi wadanganyilia na mambo ya kwenda mombasa,ama diani,ama anga dubai. Hiyo nikama kuambia Ruto ataenda jahanamu,na yeye mwenyewe niyeye saitan mkubwa. These chics fly to diani every weekend, wanarudi sunday jioni. Infact,to dazzle them you must remove money from the equation. Because you will never dominate in that field. Hawa sasa wanataka opposite. They dont want flowers,they want unusual things,like a candle stick made from an antelopes horn

Dont bother taking them to 5 star restraurants,peleka yeye maai mahiu akule punda,hatai kusahao. Kidogo tena umepeleka yeye karagita kule naivasha,hire a boat for 700 shillings,nunua mnyongolo weka kwa ndoano,enda onesha yeye kuvua samaki. Mkitoka apo nunua feya,ingia longonot,mkawinde dush mkifanya hiking. Sijui kama mnanipata?

Mkiwa hapo pia usisahao kumpigia mastory,vile uliponea kifo. They love that. Mimi nakwambia kuna mtoto nilikua nimekamata namna hii baba yake ndio alimuokoa,akamtafutia kazi ya Insurance kule Ontario canada. Mapenzi nilikua nimepatia yeye ilikua ile wanaita mapenzi yogo yogo. Siet! Mungu baba ukileta mwingine sitacheza

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@Osama_otero Na ile jamaa inaitwa Simon Keys?😅

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@KenyaPower_Care We kabla mtengeneze stima mnaandika mastatement za ughasia😏

[Edwin Sifuna @edwinsifuna]

Mimi hakuna kitu nadai watu wa Bungoma saa hii. You showed up, you have done your bit. Sitawaangusha. Ahsanteni sana.

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@edwinsifuna You are who you think you are bigman✊🏼

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@Evanso_Spyce Nikona ya 2020... Utanipea ngapi nikuachie?

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@polo_kimanii @AspireAfrika Ushawai skiza ile wimbo ya Freshly Mwamburi inaitwa Stella😅

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@MLikevoke Pin location kaka

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Na wanaume niliwaambia kuna vitu yako haifai kuonekana na mwanamke,sababu akikosea aone,she will never look at you the same. There is a reason our grandparents and ancestors strictly used to have sex at night,sio ati walikua wajinga,apana, they knew. Mwanamke akiona mkundu yako nakwambia heshima hukatikia hapo,that is the most vulnerable body part for a man. Anaanza kuona ukiwa brukenge. Unamwambia kitu anakumbuka mkundu yako aliona,anajiuliza hii kumbavu inasema nini sasa,eh?

Ndio maana mimi hii ndoa yangu imekawia namna hii. Bibi yangu miaka hii tano nimekua nikiswaga yeye,west pokot yangu hajai ona. Isipokua ni ile siku moja akiwa na mimba aliniamsha saa nane usiku kuniambia anaskia kuninusa huko nyuma,na asiponinusa atakufa,hakuna siku ingine. Juu mimi kitendo huwa namaliza namna hii napiga gear ya reverse mpaka bafu. Navalia unyaso yangu huko. Natokelezea sasa kama john cena

Kama nyumba haina bafu,nikimaliza kutandika yeye namna hii,kabla agundue nimemaliza,nishaaruka chini ya kitanda. Namwambia niangalie kinyasa yangu apo kwa mablanketi. Na kama kitanda pia ni ndogo sigwesi ingia chini,naingia ceiling kama salamander. Namwambia susan nipatilie boxer yangu. Ndio nateremka. We must guard ourselves men

Bwana some of these things you will never learn in unifasti.

[Nanyuki Billionaire🇰🇪 @lewis_ngunyi]

Wait, is anyone else unable to verify their voter details on https://t.co/7XIRSiq07E

@IEBCKenya please explain why my details are missing from the voter register and they were there just a few months ago 🤔

[Jomba @mwabilimwagodi2]

I am starting to think that President Ruto is running simulations on how to lock down the whole country on 10th August 2027. No Kenyan will be allowed to leave their homes to go to the polling stations. What I am seeing on the roads today is unthinkable. A Gestapo police state.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kijabe is so cold but there are girls still walking with tumbo cats bwana. Kuna ingine nimeona apa aki karibu tuingie mtaro na hii mafundi yangu. Yani kamsichana imevaa tumbo cat namna hii,kinyasa kama ya john cena,nywele mrefu imefika kwa spinocord,alafu sasa underwear kuna vile huwa wanaivuruta juu namna hii,inachomoka juu ya trouser kama ile kwa hesabu tulikua tunaita Numerator number. Yani surual iko inafloat juu ya kiuno,surual iko na buoyancy bwana,alafu havai mshipi, apana. Sasa apa nyuma unaona vile underwear inapotelea inamwagika huko ndani kwa valley,kama waterfall. Sijui kama mnanipata wazee. Eii! Mimi naeza adhirika mbaya sana akiamungu

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@iLnico4real Ameleta mchezo ya kule Instagram apa🤣

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@polo_kimanii @iLnico4real Kimani, Unapoteza njia🤣

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@SomoinaKapeen @OmarMajid254 "Mandanyo"🤣🤣

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

“Pasenga ICT Hub”🤣🤣

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@TeacherInocent @VIVIANWERE2 Guza

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@perkmaybe @wyroscah I follow back immediately

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@L0rna_li @tylo323 Active

[Dan🇰🇪 @Mutinda333]

@SomoinaKapeen Who the hell still says matanyo dia?🤣🤣