richard mwangi

open minded

[Sheryllisa @Sheryllisa52263]

Dictator Samia suluhu amefikiwa 😄.

[GISTE @ggiste]

Kama uko na 50 Million

Sharp Boys Starter Pack

Identify an empty PRIME land that had atleast 50 acres

1 acre can give you 8 plots za 40x80

50 acres ni 400 plots.

Tafuta mwenye iyo shamba. Ambia yeye unataka mfanye Biashara.

Utapea yeye Kshs. 20 Million for just behaving for 5 years like he doesn’t know what’s happening to his land.

Tafuta Hawa watu wa kumwaga mawe na mchanga. Mwaga mchanga ya 14k na mawe za 20k kwa 50 plots. That’s roughly 1.75 Million.

Nunua cement ya 500k. Anzisha foundations za izo mijengo.

Build 5 of them cheaply bei ya 1 Million. Thats 5 million. Tafuta watu ukomboeshe bei cheap ata 5k

Tafuta watu wa biashara give them space ya kujenga tu biashara.

The idea is to make shamba ikae busy and a lot of activities zinaendelea.

Then jenga bungalow kubwa ya 15 Million. Hii Sasa ndio itavutia wateja..

So far umetumia around Kshs. 42 Million.

The other 8 million do aggressive marketing kwa radio, online na influencers. Make sure hapo kwa lands uko na mtu wa kukupea fake title deeds😂😂

Anza kuuza each plot at 800k bei ya kwenda.

Ukiuza 300 plots uko na Kshs. 240 Million.

Kesi ikienda kortini wa sema nyinyi ni illegal occupants. Organize Maandamano and accuse imaginary politician of grabbing your land. With 100k utapata demonstrators hatari sana.wanakupigia kipindi mpaka ufurahi. Itakuwa mbaya kuliko ya Gaucho na mama Lucy.

Kushikwa lazima utashikwa. Tafuta Cliff Ombeta na Danstan Omari. Hapa wanakuchezea game smart pale kwa Vioja…

With Kshs 5 Million utakimbizwa kortini on record time. Kesi ianze mbio mbio. Kenyans anger itapungua.. Case ikisonga songa na pressure ipungue.. mentions will be nahuko 2032.

Victims watafuata kesi mpaka waone kazi ni kutajirisha lawyers na kizungu mingi. Kazi ni kuwaitisha 20k na kufile and follow up. Kwa hiyo harakati pia ile committee Mtaform kama victims kufuatilia kesi pia itakuwa na sharp boys trying to squeze the last pint of blood😂

Lakini surely uko na 800k ya kununua shamba lakini hauna 30k ya kulipa professionals wakukagulie shamba kama iko sawa🥹

Alafu unauziwa aje shamba Karibu na Runda at 500k yet market rate ni 30 million and above?

As always for you to be conned your greed must by bigger than that of the sharp boy.

Sharp boys will get Bond and come out to enjoy millions they have scammed you.

Alafu Mnauliza watu wanatoa wapi pesa.

Mtalia sana..

[richard mwangi @Mwaslinks]

@FightFanatic_ @grok when was these fight

[richard mwangi @Mwaslinks]

Ruai tena ni dubai

[richard mwangi @Mwaslinks]

@C_NyaKundiH

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

NAIROBI!! NAIROBI!! NAIROBI!!.

Lemme beat for you guys a story. You see, my cousin Lumadede is a very smooth operator, ako na mdomo tamu kuliko Kasongo. This ninja texted me, “Oya bro, nitumie mia mbili, malaya atani dunga kisu.” Mimi kama kijana mzuri nikasema, lemme sponsor his appetite for value addition services,, there’s literally no need for my brother to connect to Sayuni’s WiFi signal just because of mia mbwexe.

This was back in 2015 while I was still a comrade at UoN, surviving on tapped water & chapo dondo. By mistake, I sent Omwami 2,000 instead of 200. Ladies & gentlemen, that was the last time I ever heard from that idiot.

He even skipped our grandma’s funeral because he knew the IMF officer would be around, na kusema ukweli lazima angekula mavidevu. Imagine kuosha comrade elfu mbili pesa taslimu enzi za Uhuruto, na ile nje hukua UoN hapana macheso.

Fast forward to last Sunday, nimetulia tu kwa nyumba na nawatch Jakom akisindikizwa Sayuni. Tangu mama Liam anipoint na kisu after nilikuja kwa nyumba nikinuka mtura na supper nilikua nimewaletea managu, siku hizi kutoka nje weekend pengine nikienda kuanika manguo huko rooftop.

Nikiwa katikati harakati ya kushout Jowi Jowi Jowi, naona new number inanipigia. Nikishika, nasikia sauti familiar,, it’s Omwami Lumadede, kijana mjinga kama babake. He's calling me 10yrs later. Even before I could rant, Omwami akaniambia, “Bro, kale kadeni kako nakulipa times 10 leo, nilipata kazi GDC, kuja club 1824 tukule kanyama.”

Ilibidi nitoke kwa nyumba ki-sniper, mimi huyo moja kwa moja mpaka 1824. Lemme tell you, Maina, sijai ona club iko na warembo namna hiyo,, madem wote walikua type yangu. So I met Omwami, and indeed, it seems life was soft on his end juu kijana hadi ametoa kitambi, na kwa meza amewekelea Glenfiddich.

He was in the company of two ladies. One was very fine looking, all succulent, with average sianda and standing boobies with tirries pointing Kitengela, while the other was a plus size gari kubwa zaidi, a bit older, let’s say in her early 40s & the nyondos had already obeyed the law of gravity.

Kama kawa, mimi huwa sipendi gari kubwa, so I told Saimo lazima anipige sub huko kwa fire body, and Saimo told me it’s fine, yeye ile shimo anaogopa ni kaburi tu. But even with a fine damsel on my side, I couldn’t help but notice the other bales that were present at the club.

That club has very beautiful babes kiawa, but I guess it’s because they usually have Old Skull Sundays where they play RnB & Jaz music. Nani watoto wakona hela zao, they just come to enjoy themselves not hunting.

Nilienda kusalimia Mmoja akaniambia “Eeew, I'm deaf I can't hear you” na nilimpata akiimba solidaad,, Wooi Nyasaye, i have sofaad!! Anyway, so this ninja calls the waiter and asks her to take my order. Kusemaa ukweli mbele ya Yehova Wanyonyi, sijawai onja Glenfiddich juu mimi mlalahoi nimezoea KC GINGER.

I told the waiter to just bring a glass so I can escort the elites to the land of the living. On top of that, nikaitisha kuku wet fry with a strict order,, kafiriri iwekewe kangemi. Very nice,, so the food came and I did justice to it. After a few shots of mutindi, nilianza kuona ata hii gari ingine si kubwa sana,, it’s manageable.

I started seeing my own things and slowly undressing her with my eyes. I imagined stretch marks everywhere, starting from milima na mabonde all the way to the cracks of Galileo. Kwanza huwa naskia this old mamas comes with bags of experience from being retired Ngono kantes.

Sikhendu elders said the older the pot, the sweeter the soup! Those women above 35 are like fine wine, seasoned, marinated, and professionally certified in the Ministry of Experience. They don’t do trial and error, they cook emotions with precision, serve love with garnish, and leave you quoting the national anthem in slow motion.

Ask Guardian Angel, our boy is glowing like a Morocco lizard. Kazi ni kumumunya mkombero na kujituma tu. They say once you’ve tasted the wisdom of these elders, those small girls start looking like unfinished assignments. Getting your man back from a young girl is possible... but from an older woman, even kamotee won’t help you.

No wonder the president of France is the youngest in his family,, he’s younger than his last born. Ogopa hawa wamama wazee kabisa. Anyway, zangu zilishika, nikaona ata hiyo gari ingine si mzee sana. After all, the older the guitar, the better the tune.

Remember, when sugarcane grows old, it returns sweetness at the buttocks,, sorry bottom. And my Russian people say: old banana has no methina. It was now around 7 PM, the sun was clocking out, and the mosquitoes were clocking in.

The young damsel looked at Omwami and said, “Baby, give me the car keys, I need to get my sweater.” Alaaas! Omwami also has a car? Indeed, life was beginning to smile at him with all 32 teeth! The girl gracefully cat-walked out to get her “sweater,” and after two minutes, she came back saying, “Eeeh babe, the car door has refused to open.”

Being a gentleman and slightly suspicious engineer of the waistline, Omwami stood up, dusted his trousers, and said, “Let me go check.” Ladies and gentlemen… that was the last time I saw Omwami Lumadede in the land of the living.

At first, we thought maybe Omwami had gone to measure the diameter or test the gear system located beneath his wandawea. Thirty minutes later,,, silence. We gave them another 30 minutes,, still no sign. The only thing left at the table was the smell of whiskey and betrayal.

Just as I was preparing to launch a missing person report, the waiter approached with the energy of KRA during tax season, holding the bill like a court summons. When I reached my pocket to get my phone to call Omwami… my Oppo is GONE!

I looked at Big Momma and said, “Call Omwami.” She also reached her bag, looked inside, and shouted, “Jesu Kristo wa Nazareti! My phone & my money is gone too” Before I could even say pole, Big Momma fainted like an old television losing signal.

There I was, one man, one bill, and a bouncer built like a water tank staring at me. I picked up the bill and my eyes nearly resigned from service, Ksh 38,000 pesa taslimu! My heart whispered “run,” but my dignity whispered “utajua hujui.”

Before I could even fake a stroke, the bouncers had already surrounded me like a live band. One said, “Boss, how do you wish to settle?” I said, “Spiritually.” Thanks to club 1824 management, they handled my case with utmost humanity, they massaged me a little & only took my dignity, shoes and belt, not my soul.

If it was another club, probably I would be tasting Sayuni's WiFi signal from a distance. Lemme tell you maina, nilipelekwa huko nyuma na bouncer, nilipepeta jiko usiku mzima ndio kastomaas wasikose moto ya kuvutaa shisha,, by the time nilikua namalizia kuchonga ngunia ya pili ya waru, sikua na Nguvu ya kuosha viombo.

I could have avoided all these struggles if only I had called Mama Liam to send me something small to settle the bill. The problem was that I never asked for her permission before launching an escapade.

I asked the bouncer, “Why hasn't the fat lady been dragged for punishment too. We ate & drank free tings with her,, where’s gender equality” The bouncer looked at me like I’d asked him to solve a crossword and said, “Bro, they rushed her to Nairobi West, they’re giving her that special hospital drink laced with glucose.”

Turns out the lady is Lumadede’s neighbor from the village. Omwami told her that he has a cousin (me) who's a Major at the KDF so she should produce a bribe of ksh 500k to facilitate my anger issues so that I can look the other way during the recruitment.

Imagine me!! a Major in the military!! with my partial blindness & my curved makagare? Thieves these days have no shame at all. I’m out here pretending to be a star in uniform while I can barely salute without my head doing the macarena,,, Omwami mahali uko ulaaniwe milele.

Next thing we know, the KSh 500k has vanished into the wind and the money Saimo owes me has now increased to KSh 40,000. I don't even think the Ninja can appear for his burial now that he is a wanted Man. Yani after kuni osha 10yrs ago, the idiot came back to finesse me a good one again.

I had to pay for heartbreak, misery, and the official Omwami Special: Glenfiddich with emergency comfort ugali wet fry. Heri ningebaki tu kwa nyumba Niki omboleza Agwambo.

Even after going through all that, I still went & received another beating in my own house that I pay rent,, from someone I paid dowry for. Luhya women are very dangerous especially those short ones that comes from Tongaren😒.

That thing called Mareej is not for the faint hearted. If they're not beating you, they're slowly sending you to Sayuni by feeding you kitoweo laced with Steelwool,, Ogopa nani!! But I swear before Yehova Wanyonyi, if I catch that son of Agrippina, he will see what Onyango One touch saw in Namba Okana back in 1906. IDIOT!!

[richard mwangi @Mwaslinks]

@HANAWANG22 @Plugtv_kenya @NPSOfficial_KE @ntsa_kenya Kwani gari ni left hand

[The HourlyNewsWave @HourlyNewsWave]

One thing that’s never made sense to me is taking money from the government to give to a parent for a bursary to pay for a government school - Raila Odinga jnr.

Njambi YouTubers Alicia Kanini Ticket The President The MPs #BilaWaas Moses Kuria Mookh

[Luca Mtakatifu @snrgoodman]

When Kenyan girls decide to go wild, not even the devo himself can match their energy, hahaa🥵

A thread of videos caught in 4K when shawries didn't care if there was a camera or not🤭🔥

Add yours😂👇

[Prof. Alfred Omenya @aomenya]

I like this guy. He has just told off the Kenyan President. What do you think?

[Abdulahi Adan @AbdulahiAdan10]

Afande Denno has been arrested this evening at Pangani shopping center reasons for his arrest he participated in the recent demonstration that happened on Wednesday June 25th 2025 in Nairobi watch the video below.

[Francis Gaitho @FGaitho237]

A Message to William Ruto from a Syrian Observer

Your exit is inevitable.

The nationwide protests make it clear: you can only obstruct the will of the people for so long.

Rather than facing a forceful ouster, take decisive action now and plan your resignation. Negotiate a safe exit while you still have leverage.

Do not underestimate the situation. The number of police following your orders will dwindle with each protest. The funds you’re using to suppress protests in regions like Nyanza will not last.

You cannot lead a nation that has overwhelmingly rejected you. Step down with dignity, or the consequences will be yours to bear.

#SiriNiNumbers

[Lawrence 🇰🇪 @Lawrenc_poetry]

17TH JUNE 2025

Shot on the head by the police.

Tuesday is Tuesday

TOTAL SHUTDOWN

#JusticeForAlbertOjwang

#ArrestEliudLagat

[siah wanja 🇿🇦 @s1ah_wanja]

@KindikiKithure Kujia kuma utulie

[Marto🇰🇪 @marto254_]

If you see this tweet reply with

#DropDavidMokayaCharges

[Dr Boni Khalwale, MD, CBS @DrBKhalwale]

Are we listening?

[steve Biko osur @wuodosur]

Not war apparel but farm tools and equipment. Thomas Sankara reincarnate. God bless Ibrahim Traore.

[Presidentofafrica @Presidento78477]

@AfricanHub_ Every man should watch this before getting married

[richard mwangi @Mwaslinks]

@DonaldBKipkorir Mtu avute fegi apo kando yako apa 254 atajua ajui....

[I_am_Daniel @daniel_ohtienoh]

Here is what former president Uhuru Kenyatta said on why he left 𝕏(Twitter) when he was still president.

[Kasongo Yoko Amerix #OccupyStateHouse Moses Kuria Janet Wanja #RutoMustGo]