My Best Jokes

My Best Jokes:

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

Are you missing a ginger cat, Check the top of Donald Trump head.

#DonaldTrump #Trump

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

.@MockTheWeek Scenes We'd Like to See.

Unlikely lines to hear on a business show.

Hello and welcome to Working Lunch, a show for people who are so good at business they’re sat at home watching TV in the middle of the day.

#FrankieBoyle #MockTheWeek

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

Things a tv announcer would never say

if you have been affected by todays episode of Balamory please call.

Things a Tv chef would never say

Thats the bird plucked and stuffed all that remains now is to kill it!

@MockTheWeek #MockTheWeek

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

“Use the Force, Luke!” I’ve run out of Lubricant. #StarWars

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

“I went into a shop and I said, ‘Can someone sell me a kettle?’ The bloke said ‘Kenwood?’ I said, ‘Where is he?”
#TimVine

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

I was never over-weight, just under-tall. The correct height for my weight at the moment is seven feet ten and a half inches.

R.I.P #BrendanGrace
(1951 – 2019) Irish comedian & singer

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

My sister just had a baby boy.
They've decided to call him Mark, but with a C

Cark.

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

Someone asked me how I view Lesbian relationships.

Apparently, "in HD" wasn't the correct answer.

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims. #GaryDelaney

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word.

I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked if we know any french.

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

I am single and staying at my parents on valentines this year. So, I thought I would watch some porn when all of a sudden my mum walked in!

It was a really awkward way to find out about her new job! 😳

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

My boss wouldn’t stop making pancake jokes!

So I battered him!

[My Best Jokes @MyBestJokes]

As I watched the dog chasing his tail I thought "Dogs are easily amused".

Then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail.