Shit Mom Used To Say

Thats because you don't have a Prada backpack.

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

I've never identified more with a meme. @girlwithnojob

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

Will never forgive @hm. Might forgive @erdem.

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

@hm_custserv HORRIBLE SERIVE SURROUDING THIS COLLAB. MY ORDER WAS EDITED A DAY AFTER CONFIRMATION. HOW RUDE!? @erdem @hm

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

. @hm x @erdem WHAT A JOKE!

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

Do you ever eat clean for months then realize it's been only been THREE DAYS ?

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

"What's up with #KatyPerry?"
"I think Hillary's loss kind of unhinged her frankly."

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

SOS @LisaVanderpump, wondering why you didn't call @VanderpumpDogs #Vanderpups instead. LMK CC: @Andy

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

On August 12,2013 I tweeted: "it's a black fly in your Chardonnay."

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

The fact that our entire student body is the size of one state school Chem 101 and we made the list is very impressive. #SpringBreakArrests

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

Literally blowing my mind that Martha could have a #baby any day and I'm still drinking out of a #mug that says #BoysSuck.

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

U are 2000% on drugs if u think I don't need more info re your wknd getaway.

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

I've just gotten to the point in my life and with my #health that like, unless it's a dick, I don't want it in me.

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

but my dad would be like “whats a #patronus? I wanted sons."

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

I just love a #NewYork gentleman who will push you out of his way into the snow bank.

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

#EmRata talking about her body troubles is the most annoying thing I've read all day. #SpareMe

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

Honestly, @soulcycle is like their foreplay.

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

I am going to the #movies tonight so I can appropriately ball out for #TalkingHeads tomorrow

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

IDK if I will go out this #weekend. But I said that last weekend and then did molly so

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

All she's done since #graduation is paint pictures of her own #vagina and walk through Spain with that guy.

[Shit Mom Used To Say @MyBetchyMom]

I need a boyfriend so we can breakup as a diet strategy.