My Fun Roommates

Tweeting the ridiculous things my roommates say.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

"I thought there was a stripper on this page...but it was just Taylor Swift."

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

I wouldn't mind if Justin Timberlake whispered into my boobs.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

It makes sense that they put the word "cock" in front of the word "roach." They are so disgusting.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

I'm ok with being fat if everyone around me is fat.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

Hey Einsteins guy! I want a pumpkin creamy in my mouth.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

I get that out of my pumpkin.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

It was the biggest penis cake I've ever seen.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

Instagram is being a little bitch right now.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

We built a school that saved 300 kid's lives. Screw that woman's blood pressure.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

Spread cookie dough on my lady parts.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

I'm not racist, I just like making racist jokes.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

There's only so many jokes you can make about about a Jewish penis.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

Guess I'm gonna euthanize this dog with his junk hanging out.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

I didn't even think about GOLFING naked.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

"He's getting married, so he better get used to innuendo...because that's what sex is."

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

Proud of my soldier. #maleinnuendo

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

I can give rides too!

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

Your not incontinent after all.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

Kids don't even get chickenpox anymore, so I can't even use that as an illustration for leprosy anymore.

[My Fun Roommates @MyFunRoommates]

I don't have an arm, you can't penalize that.