MyMateMichael

A Twitter page for all the ridiculous things my mate Michael says...

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

#FictionalDeathsIWillNeverGetOver Gollum frying in a pit of lava.

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

I hope you wake up feeling like boiled shit.

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

Ughh lambs head, init angin! #ASDA

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

@ThisMorning, YES! #womenproblems

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

BASTARD BOYLE

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

She's a right dragon that Susan Boyle.

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

On terry wogan - oh here he is with his big bucket, the gray haired cunt!

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

My waters broke last week...

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

Terry Wogan, he's a jackass!!

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

First tweet in a while but i thought i would update you all to inform you i have dog poo on my shoe... #unlucky

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

When she has a baby she'll give birth through her arse, Im sure she's got a baby lodged up there...

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

She has a face like a bulldozer.

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

I lost my grandad in a zoo, i thought a giraffe had eaten him.

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

As soft as a beavers bum hole.

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

What do Chinks know about Salt & Pepper fish?!

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

It's probably a Blue Tit, the Chinese'll eat anything - Mike on Poussin

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

Why do Jews buy so much vegetable oil - Mike on Jews in Aldi

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

They train in day to day things!
- Mike on Jewish kids

[MyMateMichael @MyMateMichael]

"If she worked at my store she'd get slam dunked, whatever that is..."