Daniel J Kennedy

Entertaining myself since 1974.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@TheLastLeg #DickOfTheYear has to go to the entire Tory Government. Everyone's on strike; warm banks are an actual thing; lying for Boris; giving us Liz; PPE contracts for mates; Matt Hancock; Jacob Rees Mogg; Brexit (still); crap trade deals... case closed M'Lord.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@MattHancock He's clearly been signed up by Big Brother.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@MattHancock So long @antanddec - it's time for Matt Hancock's Saturday Night Takeaway.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

#KORPOR - introducing hashtag poetry for those who don't have enough time to read a haiku.
#haiku #poetry #WorldCup2022

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

England - always crap on ITV. #ENGUSA

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@GraemeBandeira Footballers' haircuts get stupider every year.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@FinancialTimes Jeremy and Rishi's #spendingcuts are already kicking-in in #Leeds where it's beginning to look like a half-arsed #Christmas.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

Jeremy and Rishi's #spendingcuts are beginning to kick-in in #Leeds where it's beginning to look like a half-arsed #Christmas.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

"People should be careful with comments and opinions"
Eddie Howe goes full Phil Mitchell on what you can and can't say about Newcastle United.
https://t.co/Ose5PuTMfG
#Klopp #PremierLeague #NoCeiling #NUFC

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@SkyNews Hindsight meet rose coloured spectacles.
Rose colour spectacles meet hindsight.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@hmtreasury @Jeremy_Hunt @HouseofCommons #Slytherin has grabbed the keys to the country and our only hope is @jk_rowling bringing #HarryPotter out of retirement to save the day.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@PippaCrerar If we do have a general election my money is still on Labour missing open goals from approximately half an inch.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@CliveGeorgeHil1 First Hunt. Now Rees-Mogg. It seems like #Slytherin have nicked the keys to the country.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@RobBurl It feels like every PM since Cameron has come into office with the sole intention of leaving as the worst PM this country has ever had. In fairness to Liv Truss, she's at least proved to be exceptional at being truly terrible.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@SkyNews Clearly the donations from Russian oligarchs that @GaryLineker got into trouble for mentioning has rubbed off on the Tories as they are now swinging the axe with more gusto than #Abramovich ever did @ChelseaFC.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@simonharris_mbd Surely @CraigDavid has to be in the running - he'd be good for Wednesday and Thursday and Friday and Saturday.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

I've finally decided who #LizTruss reminds me of.
She's that kid in school who got voted onto the school council after promising to extend breaktime by two hours every day and give free Mars bars to everyone.
#UTurn #torychaos #LizTrussPM

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@EllisPatents Surely one for @BBC_TopGear? Pretty sure even @PaddyMcGuinness couldn't crash this one. Over to you @harrismonkey and @flintoff11.

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

The most wonderful time of the year. New @StephenKing

[Daniel J Kennedy @MyNewtComedy]

@TheLastLeg #IsItOk that Northen Rail's message of condolence arrived seven days late on my app?