I don’t speak Russian, but I’m pretty sure that “special military operation” translates to “genocide of innocent men, women and children.”
#PrayForUkraine#RussianWarCrimes
Manager: You know, maybe it’s time to cool it on the surfing/beach songs and try something new.
Beach Boys: Absolutely right. Next we will musically describe a car in unnecessary detail.
Manager: That’s not exactly wh-
Beach Boys: LITTLE DEUCE COUPE YOU DON’T-
This morning I was curling my bangs and when I released them from the iron, some hair fell into my eye and scalded my eyeball. My bangs got me through 2020, but now I feel so betrayed 😭
I have been single for so long that I actually enjoyed when my dentist had to cradle my head to his chest in order to reach my back teeth. I just needed a cuddle.
One minute you’re ready for bed at 10:30 and excited to get the full 8 hours of sleep, and the next it’s 2AM and you’ve suddenly become a fan of 90’s British boy band Take That.
My Friday evening of watching #FalconAndWinterSoldier was rudely interrupted by two tomcats having a howling staredown outside my living room window. In hindsight, that seems on brand.
You too can play my #downtonabbey rewatch drinking game!
Drink every time:
Mary insults Edith
Branson says “Socialism”
Mrs. Patmore screams at Daisy
Tragedy strikes Bates
Isabel/Violet frenemy moment
Robert is concerned reading a telegram
Cora’s outfit looks like the furniture
Not to be over dramatic, but I started watching #WandaVision last night, and I already screamed “YES. Love it. I’m obsessed with this show!” after simply seeing the Marvel Studios logo appear in black and white before episode 1 even started.
@Madison_Smith89 I was naturally endowed with *good* eyebrows, so we’re fine. The bags under my eyes, however, look like the overloaded satchel of a post carrier at Christmas.
Sometimes when we receive artwork from German auction houses at my job, they include sweets in the box 🍫🍰 like I’m not going to stop you, Germany, but you should know that we’re dating now.
It’s too early to pinpoint the highlight of 2021, but so far, my brother and I brainstorming a show called “The Grampire Diaries” (geriatric vampires) and my mom mishearing “Memoirs of a Geisha” as “Memoirs of a Gay Chef” are in the running. (I 100% would watch either.)