Gabi the Good Witch

I stole your honey like I stole your bike.

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

I don’t speak Russian, but I’m pretty sure that “special military operation” translates to “genocide of innocent men, women and children.”
#PrayForUkraine #RussianWarCrimes

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

Wow #SquidGame really has me screaming about a man licking sugar.

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

@Madison_Smith89 Honestly…they would be perfectly poised…🤔

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

Manager: You know, maybe it’s time to cool it on the surfing/beach songs and try something new.
Beach Boys: Absolutely right. Next we will musically describe a car in unnecessary detail.
Manager: That’s not exactly wh-
Beach Boys: LITTLE DEUCE COUPE YOU DON’T-

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

This morning I was curling my bangs and when I released them from the iron, some hair fell into my eye and scalded my eyeball. My bangs got me through 2020, but now I feel so betrayed 😭

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

I have been single for so long that I actually enjoyed when my dentist had to cradle my head to his chest in order to reach my back teeth. I just needed a cuddle.

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

One minute you’re ready for bed at 10:30 and excited to get the full 8 hours of sleep, and the next it’s 2AM and you’ve suddenly become a fan of 90’s British boy band Take That.

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

My Friday evening of watching #FalconAndWinterSoldier was rudely interrupted by two tomcats having a howling staredown outside my living room window. In hindsight, that seems on brand.

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

You too can play my #downtonabbey rewatch drinking game!
Drink every time:
Mary insults Edith
Branson says “Socialism”
Mrs. Patmore screams at Daisy
Tragedy strikes Bates
Isabel/Violet frenemy moment
Robert is concerned reading a telegram
Cora’s outfit looks like the furniture

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

@WajahatAli 🖐🏻

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

Not to be over dramatic, but I started watching #WandaVision last night, and I already screamed “YES. Love it. I’m obsessed with this show!” after simply seeing the Marvel Studios logo appear in black and white before episode 1 even started.

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

@Madison_Smith89 I was naturally endowed with *good* eyebrows, so we’re fine. The bags under my eyes, however, look like the overloaded satchel of a post carrier at Christmas.

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

Harry Styles looks like Peter Pan dressed up like Captain Hook, and I’m here for it.

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

I suddenly have the strong urge to wear plum from head to toe.
#Inauguration2021

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Word of the day is 'exsibilate' (17th century): to hiss a poor performer off the stage.

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

Sometimes when we receive artwork from German auction houses at my job, they include sweets in the box 🍫🍰 like I’m not going to stop you, Germany, but you should know that we’re dating now.

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

Can someone from Disney please animate a handsome prince and/or badass princess to free Nebraska from Pete Ricketts

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

Isn’t it amazing how 46 can so quickly and desperately become your favorite number? (Also 25...you know...if we’re being hopeful about it.)

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

#2021
Expectation: New year, new me!
Reality: New year, same me, but in a notably better mood!

[Gabi the Good Witch @MyUndeadFather]

It’s too early to pinpoint the highlight of 2021, but so far, my brother and I brainstorming a show called “The Grampire Diaries” (geriatric vampires) and my mom mishearing “Memoirs of a Geisha” as “Memoirs of a Gay Chef” are in the running. (I 100% would watch either.)