Myles Allpress

I saw a sign once: If you see something, say something. I assume it meant on here.

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

Perfect with a piece of shit for breakfast ⁦@shootermcgavin⁩

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

@BenKayWriter https://t.co/bO1kFnaG8Z

Not an ad, but this piece of writing/directing by Edgar Wright was brilliant, if it’s just for reference:

https://t.co/VdZwwNZQz4

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

Fear is going to sleep alone in your 1400 sqft apartment, and hearing the shrill-like hum of a lone mosquito assassin

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

Today I learned that one hit wonder “Oh Yeah” by Yello, which is in literally every comedy in the 80s and the 90s, made 175M.

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

Why does everyone assume snakes have a lisp?

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

As a person who grew up with, “If Yan can cook, so can you” I have mastered the art of making dumplings. And now exclusively eat dim sum for lunch.

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

Who else cups their hand under their phone like it’s going to amplify their phone speaker in a noisy bar? ☝🏽

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

Has anyone got through a full episode of Yellowstone without craving/drinking a bourbon?

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

@chrisnashville @JustARandomZak @TizzyEnt It’s not because he had it, he discovered it. It’s his syndrome to be named after him. Hence the apostrophe. However, you are right in that we now refer to it more commonly as “Down” but referring to it as “Downs” the s would imply plural in this instance, which is wrong.

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

@JustARandomZak @chrisnashville @TizzyEnt Technically it’s “Down’s” with an apostrophe making it possessive to that of the physician, John Down, who first discovered it as a disability.

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

Watched Mighty Ducks, again, last night. And a huge plot point is the coach getting sponsorship, so they can afford dope uniforms since the kid’s parents couldn’t afford them. Then guess who the fuck was wearing dope supporters’ gear in the crowd? Shitty parenting 101.

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

I do my proofreading after I send a text.

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

Recently became a Costco member, so I could pretend to cook more more, but ultimately waste food on a larger scale.

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

@heyitspixel69 God, I hope so. I got a ton of long puts on IVV, knowing it’s Shitadel’s largest stock holding.

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

@OnlyInBOS @760Johnathan Seriously though, whoever built that bridge deserves some sort of engineering Nobel prize.

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

Just spent the last 30mins searching Leatherman multi-tools and realized I'm that old.

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Fox News on the Border: What a difference a new president makes

[Better Markets @BetterMarkets]

Hey, @reddit @wsb_page @wallstreetbets @WallStBetsLIVE @GameStop want to know what @citsecurities is up to now? Rigging the markets to protect their predatory behavior so you LOSE; we filed a legal brief today to stop them. You can read it here: https://t.co/JUe3xjIWex

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

@Mcgnarley1 🤮

[Myles Allpress @MylesAllpress]

Aside from being produced, written, staring, and/or featuring either Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, or a Wahlberg, why is it that every time I watch a movie set in Boston, it looks like it’s always set in the Blizzard of ‘78?