Toronto Man

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@LilyAnne_co Translation:

- buy me nice shit
- mushy blah
- buy me more nice shit
- give me money
- more mushy blah
- take me on longer sessions so i can get even more money
- tell me i'm great no matter what i like or do
- one more stroke of mushy blah

Am

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@Steph__Premier sigh....

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@itswords_ Being silent through pain is fucking foolish. Take on the pain and get rid of it for a change. Passivity in the face of abuse is nothing but weakness.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@itswords_ That's a trust issue. You're essentially increasing the odds of the bad outcome by not trusting the person and making things weird.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@Miss_Emily_Muse Like if you're having trouble saving up to buy a house, but are spending $4000 rent on a luxury apt each month, $1000 on phone bills, $800 on eating out, $800 on clothing (etc!).

A good money manger would start with basic things like that, and move on from there. Real world.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@Miss_Emily_Muse So much good advice is simple advice anyways. Like: if you want to save up for big goals, keep your spending in check! Not to point fingers, but I find that for a lot of SW I know who complain about being 'broke' all the time, it's usually simple stuff like that does them in.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@steph_asianxoxo This one is also pretty perfect. You get the idea.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@steph_asianxoxo Now this here...this is a truly fantastic photo of you. The good version of you.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@_TheRead1 @itswords_ Agreed. And also in letting people in who actually want to help you.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@Steph__Premier Room for two? #indreams

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@MUSEontheMic It's not that they don't want the 'smart and complex' guy. They just aren't ready for the challenges he will inevitably bring at that place and time.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@MUSEontheMic Yeah that's a good point. The timing thing is huge w/SW too, I find. So often you'll see them dating an awful guy, and wonder...why would you do that...but then you think about it, and realize that dumb and simple might be easier to merge w/the career vs. smart and complex.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@SirJeremyLondon True say.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@MUSEontheMic Fair points. Particularly the last one. I would be curious to see actual poll results though...I think my numbers would be closer than you think!

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@MUSEontheMic You're welcome to disagree. But I absolutely think that the relentless stigmatization of male clients in SW is one of the primary reasons the industry will never be perceived as legitimate. You can't attack hand that feeds and expect it to come back and have your back later on.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@MUSEontheMic Putting down the john is a way of recovering face. It raises the SW above at least one figurative layer of society. That's why I referenced Andrea's book. It serves its purpose as a recovery fiction narrative, but leans on 'client as faceless abuser' tropes to do so.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@MUSEontheMic Not to mention why they find it so hard to find domestic happiness. They reject without question the most obvious pool of people willing to accept them for who they are, without having to put a mask on to make it happen.

[Toronto Man @Mystery_Man_TO]

@MUSEontheMic I'm not advocating for a deconstruction of necessary safety barriers or anything like that. But I do think the stigmatization being such a dual street is a big part of the problem SW have as they try to recover identity outside the bubble.