@PigeonFeatherz I also still have flashbacks to that movie. layers of despair and grief are gradually unpeeled until the bleak denouement. Like having surgery without anaesthetic. However, I think the movie is a masterpiece and Casey Affleck’s performance is immense.
End of year treats to ring off 2023: #slowhorses of course and then the brilliant #everythingsfine by Cecilia Rabess : couldn’t put it down, stayed up all night reading.
Christmas is like sex. The build up is great, a little tense, will it be okay etc, the thing itself is good, tiring and all, but v enjoyable, then afterwards it all seems ridiculous and one feels slightly ill.
No?
Just me?
(make own joke about meat/stuffing/steamed pudding etc)
I know the world is a dark, burning place and I should feel grateful for safety comfort and family. Unfortunately i am finding it really hard to access any feelings of gratitude and love. I can’t care for others anymore; I need to care for myself.
Today I am making a promise to next year me not to make the same mistake again. No more having everyone over, 12 people over 4 days; no more cooking cleaning tidying on repeat on my own while everyone has a nice time; no more buying meaningful gift to get nothing in return
@Philippa_Perry I guess that as the eldest daughter of ageing parents with a family of my own, it is too much to expect that someone, from time to time, would take care of me. But at Christmas, with all the extra emotional and physical work it entails, & the bloody menopause, it hits esp hard.
@Philippa_Perry Thank you for this precious gift of compassion and loving kindness. Although my parents are still alive, I’m experiencing many similar feelings, down to taking responsibility for my brothers wellbeing. My overwhelming feelings Christmas are sadness and bitterness.
@JulieOwenMoylan I’m loving it two! Binged the first two seasons in one weekend. Now savouring season 3. Gary Oldman is magnificent and clearly having the best time playing the malodourous, brilliant Jackson Lamb