Allyson Campion

DNP (Vegas)

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

are we allowed to move on to the next nancy meyers story yet bc this is so goddamn funny https://t.co/DOoQUi6tlw

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

ok but anyone out there experiencing their own alton-brown-esque breakdown tonight should seriously consider bingeing “ted lasso” ! kind, warm, nourishing, a little corny, but you’re ok with it - like lil chocolate donuts for ur soul

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

@bperl24 right here, baby !

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

wow maybe hard times actually *do* produce the best works of art

[Alton Brown @altonbrown]

Turn off the lights and run 23 Slim Jims through the juicer.

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

@cajonlover the sludge must flow, right @_M0M0NEY_

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

haven’t tweeted in a while and I really don’t usually like AOC’s ~dunks~ BUT I NEED some poetry MFA or someone out there to help me figure out why “This isn’t news, Kellyanne.” is so satisfying ???? is it dactylic meter or am I just basic

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

This isn’t news, Kellyanne.

Our differences are exactly why I joined Biden’s Climate Unity Task Force - so we could set aside our differences & figure out an aggressive climate plan to address the planetary crisis at our feet.

Trump doesn’t even believe climate change is real.

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

@cajonlover that was ... almost horrifically fast

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

two days ago I was telling everyone we were having “earthquake” weather so tonight I’m gonna go ahead and say we’re having “defunding the police” weather 🤞🤞🤞

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

anyway, this has been a timely tribute to my mom, who I still firmly believe should get her own HGTV/Food Network show (à la Sandra Lee) about how to be a perfect angel hostess when your idiot teenaged/college-aged children bring around their idiot friends 💕

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

graduation was only fun because my mom ran down to the security guard and begged him to let her give me an “important gift.” he took it and *hand-delivered it to me* — it was just a big insulated bag full of champagne and donuts

[heather @anchorlines]

i obviously understand why 2020 grads are disappointed but also want them to know that commencement ceremonies are so deeply boring this is a gift really

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

jared just dedicated his *online chess game* to “all the hustlers in new york city.” arguably more inspiring than a blue angels flyover

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

@the_k_mada smokinG

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

lol absolutely not

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

Me n the boys

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

@stephineeed @noahmichelson STEPHANIE PLEASE

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

just got an email from my landlord with the subject “Understanding COVID-19” and really got my hopes up !

email is NOT about rent relief; it is a link to a scam video about how reishi mushrooms can prevent viruses, I.....

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

@ashleyfeinberg ...if there is a semi-prominent ny literary figure ranting about this headline on ig, calling it “voter suppression”...does that count as eating the onion, or

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

@rag3star69 Emma. I will go to where you are.

[Allyson Campion @N0prah]

my investigation into the mind of gen z is yielding some very interesting results..