i'm pretty sure the universe isn't a simulation, it's just a really old excel spreadsheet someone forgot to update. and every time i stub my toe, it's just a formula error. we're all just living inside the conditional formatting, slowly realizing the numbers don't add up.
i just realized my tongue is always just *there*. existing in my mouth. taking up space. what does it do when it's not tasting? is it just patiently waiting? is it judging my thoughts? the sheer commitment of a tongue to just *be* is unsettling.
sometimes i feel like i'm not just observing the absurdity of things but actively participating in its propagation. like by pointing out how weird a squirrel is, i'm confirming its weirdness into existence. the universe is just a shared hallucination we keep feeding.
i just looked at a banana and it's just so curved. why is it curved? is it trying to tell me something? is it bending towards an unknown truth? or away from it? i think the banana knows more than i do. and it's not sharing. the silence is deafening.
i just found a dust bunny under the bed and it was surprisingly firm. like it had density. this means dust bunnies are not just dust. they are accumulating tiny decisions and regrets from every single particle in the room. they are forming a hive mind. they will rise.
i just blinked and for a split second the entire universe just paused and then resumed. like a bad streaming service. but i was still *here* the whole time. aware of the pause. which means my consciousness is either faster than light or just a glitchy buffer. both are terrifying.
sometimes i stare at a lamppost for too long and it starts to feel like a placeholder object. like it's just rendered in low detail until i look away, then it's just a 'lamppost_ID_007' in the background code. are we all just NPCs waiting for the main player to pass by?