Nela Tu'uhetaufa

God Is Good! 🇹🇴🇺🇸

[Irlandarra @aldamu_jo]

USS Liberty

They killed American military and tried to hide it.

[JOKAMRREDPILLZ @JOKAQARMY1]

Chemtrails documentary on Prime

[Furkan Gözükara @FurkanGozukara]

Keep this man protected at all times

[𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖘™️ @CL4WS_OUT]

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS IS WHY THE GOVERNMENT IS CURRENTLY SHUT DOWN⁉️

AOC is upset so the socialist wing of the Democratic Party is upset. We need the moderate Democrats to stand up to this BS‼️‼️

[PaulsCorner-VerseQuest @TNTJohn1717]

Kolob: The Mormon Star Trek of Theology

Introduction – Houston, We Have a Kolob Problem

Somewhere out there, past Saturn, past the Andromeda galaxy, past reason itself — lies the star Kolob, the supposed home address of the Mormon deity. According to Joseph Smith’s Book of Abraham, God doesn’t merely reign from heaven above the firmament (like your KJV says in Genesis 1), but from a planet near a star that runs on a cosmic day equal to a thousand of ours.

In other words, the Mormon god works one day and gets a millennium of overtime.

Welcome aboard, friends — buckle up. Today’s voyage takes us through the LDS galaxy of make-believe, where prophets double as astronomers, professors double as science-fiction writers, and “faith-based astrophysics” tries to patch the holes in a theology that already crashed somewhere near Kolob.

Section 1 – How Kolob Hatched

The tale starts in the Book of Abraham, a “translation” Joseph Smith produced after buying some Egyptian papyri from a traveling mummy show. From those papyri came the infamous Facsimile No. 2, a circular Egyptian drawing that Smith declared was a heavenly map. In his version, Figure 1 is Kolob, “the first creation, nearest to the celestial, or the residence of God… One day in Kolob is equal to a thousand years according to the measurement of this earth.”

Now that’s convenient — a 1,000-year rotation! You could have brunch, take a millennium-long nap, and still call it “yesterday.”

Early Mormon apostles like Orson Pratt and Brigham Young doubled down. Pratt preached in Journal of Discourses 16:312 that Kolob was “a certain great world… whose diurnal rotation takes place once in a thousand of our years.” Brigham Young said God was a man living near Kolob, physically located in space. Picture it — the Almighty in a celestial suburb, mowing the lawn every thousand years or so.

So began the Mormon Star Trek: To boldly go where no prophet has mis-translated before.

Section 2 – When the “Scientists” Took Over

Fast-forward a century, and the faithful started getting nervous. The telescopes got bigger, the galaxies got weirder, and nobody could find Kolob. So the Mormons did what all modern religions do when fantasy meets facts — they hired scientists to make it sound academic.

Enter Dr. Lynn M. Hilton, whose book The Kolob Theorem (2005) insists Kolob isn’t just a star; it’s the center of the Milky Way Galaxy, where God’s throne sits in “everlasting burnings.” He describes it with the zeal of a tour guide: white core (Celestial Kingdom), red ring (Terrestrial), blue ring (Telestial). Three colors, three glories — and apparently one divine traffic light.

Hilton even claims each galaxy has its own god. Imagine the chaos on judgment day when all those deities file claims for ownership. “Excuse me, you’re in the wrong spiral arm — this is the Jehovah quadrant.”

Then there’s David Allred, a BYU physicist who published Bounds and Conditions: A Kolob in Our Solar System? in Sunstone magazine. He mused whether Jupiter might be a “type of Kolob” that governs the planets by stabilizing their orbits. He admitted Jupiter wasn’t the Kolob, just a Kolob-like object. Translation: we still can’t find it, but we’ll pretend it’s nearby.

Meanwhile, the 2022 BYU Studies Quarterly article by Stephen Smoot, John Gee, Kerry Muhlestein, and John Thompson tried to fix things the scholarly way. They called Kolob an ancient metaphor — a symbol of divine order, not a real star. In short: “It’s literal when we preach it, but allegorical when it embarrasses us.”

And that, my friends, is the birth of a new science: Quantum Theology — it’s both real and not real until someone reads it aloud.

Section 3 – Larson’s Cosmic Soap Opera

If Hilton and Allred turned Mormon astronomy into Sunday-school astrophysics, Anthony E. Larson cranked it up to full Hollywood. His book Kolob: The God Star (2001) argues that Kolob was actually Saturn, with Venus and Mars

[✨💫Cali💫✨ @505Cali2]

Breaks down the Bible 🙏

[JOKAMRREDPILLZ @JOKAQARMY1]

The Real Prophets revealed 🤔.

[NewsForce @Newsforce]

Tulsi Gabbard speaks on how the Deep State runs the U.S.

[Irlandarra @aldamu_jo]

The USA, and Palestine, are occupied by Israel.

[Nela Tu'uhetaufa @N2hetaufa]

Damn so looks like Tank Davis gave @RyanGarcia the first concussion in history off of a body shot 😂😂😂

[Nela Tu'uhetaufa @N2hetaufa]

This the kid who said he'd upper cut Santa Clause 😂😂😂

[GLOBALFIGHTS @Globalfights_]

how is the teacher not capable of ending the fight😭💀

they in second grade or smth😳

#fights #hoodvideos #hoodfighting #knockout #knockoutfights #fightingvideos #fightsatschool #fightvideos #worldstar #fight #schoolfights #hoodfights #gorevid #hoodfights #girl #viral #Trending

[Brian Baldinger @BaldyNFL]

.@Steelers @Nunless2 always catches my eyes no matter how dreadful a game becomes. Does a lot of things very well for a RFA. #BaldysBreakdowns

[Nela Tu'uhetaufa @N2hetaufa]

@derekwright_05 this guy been a dawg!

[wes wright @wesfunbro]

this kid conquered all odds. from having no offers out of hs, walk-on @ a juco, walk-on @ a D1, wasn’t even given the starting job until game 5 last year, and still is one of the only kids to come from a Utah school this last year thats still going. you’re my hero man 🫶🏼

[Nela Tu'uhetaufa @N2hetaufa]

Sooo Manti Te’o made some big plays off of advice from Coach/GirlFriend Lennay Kekua 😂😂😂 this Lennay Dude is trippin!

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

in case u need to lose a boner fast

[Nela Tu'uhetaufa @N2hetaufa]

The https://t.co/C1GmujlVFY Spider Man lol

[1thaj @1thajtweets]

That boy gone 🫢☠️

[Nela Tu'uhetaufa @N2hetaufa]

@975Hans Aight lets paint em out to be a bunch of thugs? rather then understanding the nature of a physical game. The SF coach is more at fault here knowing the tension before kickoff and thinking that its a good idea to bring your team out on the opposing side.

[Hans Olsen @GBSHansO]

I wanted to get people's thoughts on this.
This is Spanish Fork coming onto the filed to warm up before their playoff game Friday.
East confronts them & gets in their face as they take the field.
Not sure how a fight didn't break out.
What should've been done in your opinion?