Raccoon Police

“The nine most terrifying words in the English language are ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” - Ronald Ray Gun

[𝐇𝐏𝐗 @itsHPX]

> Comes to America because Roman convinces him he’s living the American dream and thinks he can finally escape his past.

> Gets dragged into paying off Roman’s gambling debts by criminals threatening his cousin.

> Forced to work for Vlad, who is sleeping with Roman’s girlfriend. Roman then calls Niko disloyal for keeping it from him, pushing Niko to confront Vlad. Whom then is forced to work for Faustin to save him and Roman from being killed.

> Dimitri manipulates Niko into killing Faustin, only to betray him because Bulgarin, the man Niko has been running from for years, shows up wanting revenge over money he believes Niko owes him.

> Roman’s apartment and business are burned down as a consequence of Dimitri’s betrayal not because Niko just “did idiotic shit for nothing.”

Just say you didn’t pay attention to the story or something man 🤦🏻‍♂️

[Tony Sneedprano 🤟🇮🇹🥩🍝🍕🤌🦆🐎🍳🥃🤟 @TonySneedprano]

beast mode

[Dan Hightower @Danhightower]

Daycare calls me. That's never good.

For them.

Daycare: "your son hurt his elbow and won't move his arm. Can you come take him to a doctor's office?"

Me (ex Special Forces Medic): "A real doctor is on the way to you now. I am 6 mikes out. Alert me of status changes."

I arrive at daycare. I locate the patient. 21 month old male. Scene is not safe. I drag the patient to cover and concealment behind a seesaw, away from the other small terrorists in the AO.

I begin my assessment. Blood sweep negative for massive hemorrhage. Mental status: conscious and verbal but confused (answers "dada" when asked for blood type). One breath every 2 seconds. Bilateral rise and fall of the chest. Strong carotid pulse, strong bilat radial pulse.

Teeth and tongue intact no blood no mucus no dip or foreign objects. Eyes PERRLA, negative JVD/trach deviation, C-spine intact upon palpation.

Heart sounds strong upon auscultation. Percussion negative for hemo-T. Abdominal quads normal upon palpation. Pelvis negative for book sign.

Arms and legs negative for crepitus. However, Patient indicates discomfort in right arm upon palpation and supination/flexion of the elbow.

Nursemaid's elbow.

I begin interventions. Supination/flexion technique complete at 1215. Palpable clunk on successful reduction. I write the time on his chest in Sharpie. I tape a popsicle to his hand and tell the patient to suck but do not bite/chew. I write "1 x popsicle (10g sugar)" on his chest in Sharpie.

I reassess the patient after performing interventions then package the patient for handoff to daycare/higher level of care. I yell at daycare over the Blackhawk in my head: "21 month old male!!! Nursemaids elbow!!! Treated with supination/flexion technique at 1215!!! Patient has 1 x popsicle onboard!!"

Daycare: "sir please leave."

Me: "you should have called my wife."

[Last Gen Richtofen @Lastgen01]

BO8 Zombies looks great guys

[BENZO-KAZOOIE @BENZOTOOIE]

And it made you tweet just like he said.
He got your ass

[マサキタケオ @takeo1945]

恐らくCODのゾンビモードで日本刀をパックアパンチした時

[Raccoon Police @N3FF1214]

@FREEMYCOCKTODAY I've Doordashed in Stillwater at night and it's very plausible

[Pope @FREEMYCOCKTODAY]

That is oddly specific

[babu fuck, Esq. @babutheefrik]

updated list of my comic covers :)

Totenreich poster should be up on CodeNamePizza’s shop this week

[babu fuck, Esq. @babutheefrik]

3 new additions :)

[DAKKADAKKA @DAKKADAKKA1]

>district attorneys stop prosecuting murders
>police stop arresting murderers
>people stop reporting murders because of inaction

[Binko @kneecapshooter]

Backrooms if it was scary

[Razencro @razencro]

forgot I made this gif

[Joshipooo @izme_josh]

The weapons manufacturer learned that a group of fish is called a school

[Saltydkdan @saltydkdan]

E-sex cuck chair

[VanossGaming @VanossGaming]

My SpongeBob Emblem. Get on my FUCKING level.