P@rick

they're lobotomising me tomorrow

⨂

[P@rick @NBIANWP]

Assigned Catholic At Birth

[A’damn Shayme @blackcindyy]

just paid rent …

[max @nm44xx]

asked for the wifi at a pizza place and the password was “Pepperoni”

[P@rick @NBIANWP]

They should invent a moment that's easy

[Werwulf @werwulfmovie]

Do not dread the darkness. Embrace it.

Robert Eggers' WERWULF is only in theaters this Christmas.

[ziam ❤️‍🔥 (gay sexianna) @ziam0d]

do you prefer sydney sweeney with or without an ancient curse that possesses her spirit with all her ancestors' pain and suffering?

[P@rick @NBIANWP]

Worst Mental Health Crisis in years and my GP is ignoring me

[P@rick @NBIANWP]

Yer bird gets a trolley at Home Bargains

[corb @awshuqs]

my girl a minion she said “bello!” when my banana gru

[P@rick @NBIANWP]

I remember 2025 like it was yesterday

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

I watched Zootopia 2 with my kids yesterday.

While they were cheering for the bunny and the snake, I was mesmerized by the urban planning.

In the movie, the mice have tiny vehicles. The giraffes have massive kiosks. The hippos have water channels.

They don’t build "One Size Fits All." They build "Right-Sized Infrastructure."

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

In my company, we are failing at this. We are committing the sin of Hardware Equity.

We give the same $3,000 MacBook Pro M3 to our Senior AI Engineer (The Elephant) as we do to the Junior Copywriter (The Mouse).

The Engineer uses 100% of the CPU. The Copywriter uses Chrome and Spotify.

Giving a "Mouse" employee an "Elephant" laptop isn't generosity. It’s Capital Expenditure malpractice.

So this morning, I launched "Operation Zootopia."

I ran a script to audit CPU utilization across the company.

If your average daily CPU usage is under 10%, you are classified as a "Rodent Tier User."

I confiscated 40 MacBooks from the Marketing and HR departments.

I replaced them with refurbished Chromebooks and 2nd Gen iPads.

They were furious. They asked, "How am I supposed to work on this?"

I told them what the movie taught me: "You don't build a highway for a hamster. You build a tube."

We recovered $120,000 in hardware assets in one morning.

Stop giving Ferraris to people who only drive to the grocery store.

Nature doesn’t waste resources. Neither should IT.

[P@rick @NBIANWP]

I know Grindr calls to you like the Green Goblin Mask...

[P@rick @NBIANWP]

lumpia

[grey_gardens @EraicLyrios]

@NBIANWP Sometimes I wish the hays code was back…

[P@rick @NBIANWP]

I be Hoppin on her Judy till my Nick goes Wilde
#Zootopia2

[P@rick @NBIANWP]

Marnie Michaels. MM. Flip that around? Wicked Wiiiitchhh

[P@rick @NBIANWP]

Michelle Yeoh all week with that fucking MM Wicked Wiiiitchhh