Parents - Your job is not to manage her AAU basketball career. Your job is to help her become the kind of person and player who can manage it herself.
What I have learned over the years with my daughter.
Choose development over the logo on the jersey.
Find a coach who will coach your daughter—not just showcase her.
Stop evaluating your daughter by points.
Don’t fight every basketball battle for her. Other than saying hi, don’t talk to the coaches. Let her handle it.
After games, be her parent—not another coach. She knows how she played.
The goal shouldn’t be to raise a 16-year-old basketball star. The goal is to help develop a young woman who happens to be really good at basketball.
Good luck this year!! 🫡✌️
When you see D1 offers going out to players that local high school coaches know would struggle to make an impact at a good D3 program, don’t be surprised that the transfer portal is the mess it is.
At some point, we have to acknowledge that a lot of college coaches evaluating talent simply aren’t doing a very good job of it. Too many players are being recruited at levels they aren’t ready for - and everyone acts shocked when they’re back in the portal a year later.
AAU should be fun! I’ve been thinking about that a lot during tryout season.
Don’t let a 10-year youth basketball journey become miserable because everyone is chasing a “maybe” scholarship.
Yes, compete. Yes, train. Yes, set big goals. But don’t lose sight of why your kids fell in love with the game in the first place.
Find a team that enjoys competing TOGETHER… and just as importantly, enjoys being around each other. Be part of something you don’t want to leave. When the season ends, you should miss the people more than the schedule.
Enjoy the road trips. Laugh in the hotel lobbies. Celebrate the little wins. Handle adversity together. Become better teammates. Make memories your family will still be talking about 20 years from now!!
If a scholarship comes, that’s incredible. If it doesn’t, your kids can still walk away with confidence, resilience, lifelong friendships, and lessons that extend far beyond basketball… oh, and still play at a non-scholarship level!
A college scholarship is a possibility. Childhood is a guarantee. Don’t sacrifice one chasing the other.
The scholarship might last four years. The memories, relationships, and experiences your family creates along the way will last a lifetime.
Choose accordingly.
AAU tryout season is here, and here’s one of the questions I get asked the most… “Should my kid play on the A Team or the B Team?”
My answer? That’s the wrong place to start! Instead, I’d ask, “What’s the best team for my kid’s growth and goals?”
Too often, we let the label (and, let’s be honest, EGO) drive the decision instead of the development.
I’ve coached top teams, next-tier teams, and everything in between. I’ve also had my own daughters play on both. I can tell you there are benefits to each depending on the player, the family, and the season.
So before you decide, ask some different questions… Who’s coaching?
What role will my kid realistically have? Will they be developed or just used? Will they receive real, honest feedback? Will the ball move? Will defense, decision-making, and basketball IQ actually be taught? Will they be challenged, encouraged, and enjoy going to practice?
Then zoom out. What’s the vision? Not just for this season… but for the next couple of years. If we choose this team today, what opportunities does that create next year? Is exposure really the biggest priority right now, or would another year of development have a bigger long-term impact?
One more thought… Some traditionally labeled “B Teams” provide better coaching, more development, bigger roles, and more confidence than some “A Teams.” I’ve seen it firsthand as both a coach and a parent.
Every kid is different. Every family has different goals.
Don’t let the letter A or B make the decision. Choose the team that’s best for your kid’s growth and goals.
I spent this weekend at the EYBL and Made Hoops events in Las Vegas.
As I walked from court to court, one thing kept standing out to me.
Parents.
Youth sports has become very comfortable criticizing them. Sometimes it’s deserved. We’ve all seen parents who lose perspective.
But that wasn’t the story I saw.
I saw moms and dads riding the rail for hours, cheering every possession, carrying bags, buying meals, paying for hotels, flights, gas, tournament fees, and everything else that comes with chasing a dream.
I saw parents encouraging their child after tough games, celebrating small victories, and doing everything they could to help them navigate a recruiting process that is confusing even for people who work in college athletics.
Here’s the reality:
There is no handbook for raising a student-athlete.
Most parents are simply doing the best they can with the information they have. Often, while being purposefully mislead for them to spend more money. They’ll make mistakes. So do coaches. So do athletic directors. So do officials. So do recruiters.
This weekend reminded me that the overwhelming majority aren’t trying to make youth sports harder.
They’re sacrificing time, money, weekends, and comfort because they believe in someone they love more than themselves.
The loud minority gets the attention.
The quiet majority deserves the appreciation.
Sometimes we should spend a little less time criticizing parents and a little more time recognizing just how much they’re giving up so their kids have a chance.
Here is our schedule for this week in Louisville. We will be there Thursday & Friday. Coaches come check this talented, highly skilled group out. Their recruiting is definitely trending up. Don’t miss out 📈📈📈#KeepWorking@vjhAlways100