why does lana del ray simultaneously make me want to do coke with a bunch of finance bros yet also stand on a balcony holding a crystalline wine glass crying in silk pajamas
knowing someone’s coffee order is such a pure form of love because it just means I pay attention to you and I care about what you like even if I think hazelnut is repulsive
me & my girlfriends sober: I can’t have sex with a guy unless we really have that ~spark~, you know?
me & my girlfriends after 1.5 margaritas: ya if I was alive in the 60s i’d 100p let JFK raw me
Here are my protest chant suggestions for the shutdown:
“Hey heys! Ho Hos! The government’s not yours to close!”
“3-5-7-9! Trump and Pence should just resign!”
“What do we want? PAYCHECKS! When do want ‘em? NOW!”
“The people! United! Can’t wait till you’re indicted!”