One of the biggest flex in the Bible for me is Apostle Paul.
Man got a report that in one of the churches, members were doing anyhow so he went to visit. Time to speak, he picked up the mic, looked at them through his piercing eyes and said,
The first time I heard someone say:
“My wife and I have been married X years, and we’ve never had an argument…,”
I remember thinking to myself, they must have this marriage thing completely figured out. I mean, it sounded like the ultimate end goal: no tension, no slammed doors, no shouting, no conflict of any kind, just smooth sailing for all eternity.
It took me a minute (actually longer) to realize, however, that it is not really the flex it sounds like, because in real life, it is either that such a couple has completely mastered communicating at a level most humans will never reach or simply that someone is unhealthily swallowing a whole lot more than they should.
Now, once you see that, you will start noticing something else:
A lot of unhappy couples don’t look unhappy at all.
If you asked them, they would probably say, “We’re good,” and from the outside, it looks sort of fine because you see them handle their responsibilities and even laugh sometimes. But then that is the problem, because even though the relationship isn’t explosive, it is still dangerous in the sense that it has discreetly morphed into something less than what they used to be, and they call it normal.
Again,
Ladies and gentlemen, once you deliver your baby, please check to see that both testes are in the scrotum.
If you don't know how to check, get your midwife or an experienced mother to show you.
A child should not be seeing us fir the first time at 6 years with bilateral Undescended testes.
At that point, the chance of infertility and risk of cancer is increased.
Please.
The truth is that decency alone does not guarantee romantic success.
A man can be honest, loyal, generous, responsible, and kind, and still be unlucky in love. He may give too much to the wrong person. He may refuse to play emotional games. He may become more selective with age. Or he may decide that his energy is better spent on work, children, creativity, faith, service, or personal goals.
This does not mean that such men are doomed to loneliness.
But it does mean that the qualities that make a man morally strong do not always make his romantic life easy.
Sometimes a decent man has to learn not only how to love, but also how to protect himself. Not only how to give, but also how to notice whether he is receiving anything in return. Not only how to be reliable, but also how to avoid becoming useful to people who do not truly value him.
And perhaps the most important lesson is this: being a good man does not mean sacrificing yourself for people who would never do the same for you.
A decent man does not need to become cruel, cynical, or emotionally unavailable.
But he does need to understand one thing clearly:
kindness without boundaries is not love.
It is self-destruction disguised as devotion.
People-pleasing looks like kindness from the outside. From the inside, it’s the constant habit of pushing down your own needs to manage other people’s emotional states.
The person who always says yes, always smooths things over, always makes themselves smaller — they’re not relaxed. They’re braced.
That constant bracing has a hormonal cost.
People-pleasers tend to run high cortisol day after day because the monitoring never stops—watching for disapproval and conflict.
Over time, that suppresses the natural cortisol rise that should happen each morning, the one that gives you energy and clarity. It may also contribute to lower testosterone over time, which is why habitual people-pleasers often feel physically flat, unmotivated, and unable to push back even when they want to.
Before learning to say no, identify the fear producing the yes — disapproval, conflict, abandonment, whatever it is for you.
When you name that fear, the stress response driving the behavior starts to loosen its grip. From there, small refusals, repeated often enough, make the body less reactive and less braced.
Decline a meeting you don’t need, choose the restaurant you actually prefer, delay a non-urgent response. Then notice whether the reaction you were worried about actually happens.
It usually doesn’t. And each time it doesn’t, the body updates what it considers dangerous. As cortisol falls, morning energy and motivation gradually return. Give it weeks, not days.
A young lady graduated from UNILAG, and her family sold a lot of assets to sponsor her Master's in Software Engineering in the USA.
The day she got to New York, her laptop was stolen on the train, and so was her wallet
She reached out to some friends in the alumni group of her university, and someone reached out to help
This person drove her to her school, helped her with all her registration process, and also put some money in her pocket
He drove back and forth to spend time with her until she was settled into her apartment on campus
He also gave her his old laptop and was exceptionally nice to her.
They started a relationship some months later.
She was in the top five of her class
Life was good!
She graduated and was recruited out of Uni into the tech space to work for a very good firm
Her first salary and stock options were the best among her peers
She has arrived.
She met another man in the tech space
He showed serious interest in her and literally swept her off her feet
She had already slept with him before she remembered that she was in a serious relationship
She decided she would stick with this new man, who was a 10, and gently let go of her previous man, who was a 6
The morning after her sex with 10, he told her he was married and only slept with her because she threw herself at him
She cried all the way to her apartment to meet 6, sitting on the staircase leading to her apartment, looking seriously troubled
"What is the matter?" She asked
"I saw you and a man kissing and smooching at a restaurant yesterday. I came to pick up my stuff. It was good while it lasted."
She couldn't even say a word
She opened the door, he walked in and picked a few things he had in her apartment, and left.
She got to the office the next day and got the sack as soon as she walked in
It turned out that the 10 she slept with was married to the daughter of the founder of the company
She was not only sacked, she was also blacklisted in the tech space
She returned home and locked herself in her room.
She was heartbroken, ashamed, confused, disillusioned, hemmed in on every side, deeply sorrowful and only wanted to cry her eyes out.
She was there for three days
Friends and relatives had called and called without getting any response from her
Someone called her landlady
Her landlady called the police
They broke into her apartment and found her curled up in the bathroom
She was sedated and whisked off to the hospital
She woke up with a head full of cobwebs and foams
She had been placed on antidepressants
She was not depressed
She was just suffering as a consequence of several mistakes and a lack of good judgment
The drugs didn't help in any way
She got lethargic and became zombielike
She was eventually brought back to Nigeria
Pastors prayed, and doctors doctored
Nothing worked
The Brother in Jeans and a T-shirt eventually met with her
They had a long talk
She said she didn't believe the level of self-sabotage she threw herself into willfully
They laughed over a few matters
He encouraged her to write a letter of apology to both her ex-boyfriend and the wife of the man she slept with
No man is a 10 without a woman in his life, the best any man can be is a 9 when he is a bachelor
If you ever slept with a 10, he is married.
She moved from suffering to reigning
She recovered within a month
Today, she is back in the USA
Back in the tech space and pushing the boundaries of innovation
She is also in a relationship
He is a 7
The cure to depression is not always drugs
Sometimes it is a new job, sometimes it is a new relationship, sometimes it is prayer, and sometimes it is self-care
Suffering is what humans do
Reigning is what believers do
-GSW-
Measuring The Viability Of A Relationship
Within the first session or two, marriage counsellors make silent assessments about whether this relationship is viable.
We look for criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Particularly contempt.
Research shows that contempt is the single best predictor of divorce.
When I see genuine contempt — not frustration or anger, but true disdain — I know the relationship is likely over.
Contempt means one or both partners have fundamentally lost respect for the other. And you can’t rebuild respect through communication techniques or date nights.
We’re also assessing:
Is anyone actually willing to change? Or are they here to prove the other person is the problem?
Is there any remaining affection or goodwill? Or has the relationship calcified into bitter resentment?
Are they fighting to stay together or fighting to be right? There’s a crucial difference.
Has one person already emotionally left? Sometimes people come for counselling to ease their guilt about a decision they’ve already made.
Research shows that viable couples have “accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement” — the sense that your partner is there for you emotionally.
When all three are absent, when neither partner turns toward the other, the relationship is functionally over, even if they’re still living together.
I can usually tell within two sessions whether a couple has these qualities. And if they don’t — if what I’m seeing is contempt, emotional abandonment, and entrenched patterns neither person wants to change — then I know couples therapy is likely a waste of their time. But I’m not supposed to say that.
I’m supposed to “give therapy a chance,” and “work with their ambivalence,” and “facilitate their process.”
Even when I can see they’re just prolonging the inevitable.
The Types of Couples I See (And Which Ones Can Actually Be Helped)
After years of doing this work, I’ve started categorizing the couples who walk into my office. Because not all struggling relationships are created equal.
Type 1: The Fundamentally Sound Couple Going Through a Rough Patch
These couples still like each other. They have shared history that matters to both of them. They turn toward each other, even in conflict. They’re willing to be vulnerable, to acknowledge their own contributions to problems, to actually listen to their partner.
They might be dealing with a major stressor — new baby, job loss, family illness, or infidelity. They need help navigating it, but the relationship foundation is solid.
These couples? Therapy works beautifully. We process the crisis, rebuild trust if needed, learn better communication patterns, and they leave stronger than before.
This is maybe 20% of the couples I see.
The Couple Where One Person Has Already Left
One person is done. They’ve emotionally exited the relationship, sometimes months or years ago. But they agreed to therapy because their partner begged, or they feel guilty, or they want to say they “tried everything” before filing for divorce.
Research on “mixed agenda couples” shows this dynamic is incredibly common — and incredibly difficult to work with. The person who’s left won’t admit it (sometimes not even to themselves). They go through the motions of therapy, but nothing changes because they’re not actually invested in the outcome.
I can usually spot this by the end of the first session. The checked-out partner is polite but disengaged. They agree to do homework, but don’t do it. They acknowledge problems but show no urgency about fixing them.
The other partner is desperate, trying everything, making themselves smaller to please someone who’s already gone.
These situations break my heart because the abandoned partner doesn’t see what I see: Their partner’s body language, their flat affect when talking about the relationship, the way they light up when the conversation moves away from the marriage.
I want to pull the desperate partner aside and say: They’re gone. Stop begging someone to stay who’s already left.
But if I say that too directly, they often just find another therapist who will let them keep trying.
The Fundamentally Incompatible Couple
These are people who were never really compatible but didn’t realize it until they were already married, maybe with kids. They don’t fight particularly badly — they just have completely different values, needs, or visions for life.
One person wants kids; the other doesn’t. One person needs emotional intimacy and deep connection; the other is perfectly happy with a companionate partnership. One person’s identity is built around their career; the other prioritizes family time.
Personality similarity predicts relationship satisfaction better than almost any other factor. When core values and needs are mismatched, no amount of communication skills will create compatibility.
I can teach them to fight more constructively. But I can’t make them want the same things from life.
These couples sometimes stay together and build functional-but-not-passionate partnerships. But often one or both partners spend years feeling fundamentally unseen by their spouse.
The Couple Staying Together for Wrong Reasons
Fear of being alone. Religious prohibition against divorce. Not wanting to disappoint family. Worrying about finances. Believing children need an intact household, no matter what.
These couples are miserable but trapped — or believe they’re trapped — by external factors.
Research on divorce and remarriage shows that children in high-conflict intact families often have worse outcomes than children whose parents divorced amicably. Staying together “for the kids” when the relationship is toxic doesn’t protect children — it teaches them that misery is normal in intimate relationships.
But try telling that to parents who’ve built their entire identity around keeping the family together.
I met this young man some years ago
Handsome to look at, articulate, and very confident
A Christian, a father of two children, and a husband
He and his wife were attending a church somewhere in FESTAC
The pastor controls their home; by that I mean, the pastor controls his wife
The wife worked with an NGO
The husband worked with a bank, but he was one of those young men who learnt how to play the keyboard as a young man, and he was very good at it
It was what his wife saw in him that made her invite him to her church
It was the same thing the pastor saw that made him offer to give him leadership of the church choir and paid employment as choir director
He took the job because the offer was juicy but also because his wife, who was then just an acquintance followed him up closely on the offer
She went above and beyond to convince him to take the job
It was the above-and-beyond effort of this woman that led to her getting pregnant and subsequently to their marriage.
After they got married, this man realised that this pastor was an idol his wife worshipped
She was one of those women who lacked the ability to think for themselves or make any major decisions or even the minor ones, without the input and blessing of their pastor
It got so bad that whenever he dared question anything the pastor said, his wife would give him the silent treatment until he apologised or promised never to slander a "Man of God" anymore.
Things became worse after he got the conviction to take up a job abroad
The offer came out of nowhere, and it was a multinational opportunity that included sponsorship and allowance for his wife and family to help them relocate from any nation of the world to Canada.
He saw this as the answer to all his prayers.
First, the job was an opportunity of a lifetime.
Second, the job will keep as much distance as possible between his wife and this pastor, whom he was sure she was not having any physical relationship with, but who had taken over her mind completely
Third, he had wanted to leave his position as the choir director of that church for some years, but his wife made it clear to him that once he leaves the position and the church, he should forget about his marriage and his children.
She said this to him without mincing words.
He loved his wife and children, and he had stayed in the church and swallowed as much as he could with humility because the consequences were too dire for him to consider.
When he told his wife about the job offer, she ran off to inform the pastor
The pastor said, "No!"
His wife returned home and told him that she would have gladly travelled with him, but her place of assignment was in that church, and she wouldn't trade her divine destiny for all the riches in this world.
He accepted the job offer and filled out all the necessary documents
His wife told him he was wasting his time
It got so bad that he reported her to her parents and also got his own parents involved
His wife said he could leave, but she was not going anywhere
His wife's mother told him to go and pray
"I have never seen my daughter in such a disagreeable state before. She must be under a spell; you are her husband. Go and pray. I will also pray. This is not ordinary."
This was why the young man came to me.
He wanted me to pray with him that the scale in the eyes of his wife may fall off
I asked him if he still attended church on Sundays
He said yes
I asked him who the strongest female influence in the church was
He thought about it and mentioned a name
I said, "After service this Sunday, go and talk to this woman. Don't accuse the pastor of any wrongdoing directly, just insinuate that you suspect he is sleeping with some church members, your wife included, and you would like him to stop, or you will go public."
He did so.
That same day, the pastor, his wife, and this woman of influence visited their house
His wife couldn't contain her joy
Her idol was visiting her home for the first time in many years
The pastor's wife and the woman of influence watched her every move
As the husband, he stayed as aloof as possible.
His wife was all over the pastor
She couldn't help herself; he was God to her
The next day, the pastor called his wife and encouraged her to take up the offer to travel abroad with her husband
When she protested, the pastor said, "God told him to tell her so."
That was how the wife agreed to the move
Two months later, the family relocated to Canada, and this man was able to get his wife away from this pastor's influence.
PS: You often wonder how some people got fanatical followers despite how silly whatever they were doing is.
You see some religious figures commanding a huge followership, and you wonder why...
Human beings are one of the easiest beings to domesticate. Some of the most brilliant minds are so gullible, easy to program and manipulate by dullards in the name of spiritual leadership
There’s a popular anecdote about Joseph Stalin that goes as follows.
One day, the dictator of the Soviet Union told his closest advisors that he would show them how easy it was to control a person who had already been subjugated. He brought in a live chicken, which he then proceeded to pluck until it was naked and bleeding.
“Now, watch where the chicken goes,” Stalin said as he put it on the ground. Finally freed from its torturer’s grasp, the chicken wasted no time getting away. However, when it failed to find an exit, it readily returned to Stalin and attempted to warm itself between the dictator’s legs. Stalin then took out some grain from his pocket, which he fed to the chicken.
Some people, under the guise of religious ability, would dispossess other human beings of their reasoning ability and feed them corn in return for their loyalty.
Such people usually have a big ego and a larger-than-life personality that can easily be punctured by three things
1) Rumor
2) Reputational Destruction and
3) Innuendo
While these three things are negative and must be seriously discouraged, the threat of them is always enough to scare a man who depends on his reputation to keep his myth into doing the right thing.
-GSW-
Embrace His Strength Not Your Weakness
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a dedicated nation, [God's] own purchased, special people, that you may set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9 AMPC).
As a Christian, you’re not subject to disease, infirmities or demons, because you have the transcendent life in Christ. You’re not in bondage to the elements of this world; you live above them.
I love the way the Apostle Peter puts it; he said, “Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust” (2 Peter 1:4).
You live far above and beyond the corruption, decadence and darkness of this world because you’re an associate of the God-kind, a partaker of the divine nature. You’re superior to Satan and the corrupting influences of this present world of darkness. Your life is full of blessings, glory and virtue. Virtue is excellence; you have an excellent life in Christ Jesus.
Think about the Apostle Peter who wrote the beautiful verses of scripture that we read earlier; he once trembled with fear and denied the Lord Jesus before a little girl. His faith was unstable. But after he received the Holy Spirit, something changed. He expressed and manifested the God-life in Him with such glory and boldness that through his preaching, three thousand souls gave their hearts to Christ in one day, as revealed in Acts 2:41.
What transformed him? He had come to the revelation of the glorious life we have in Christ. What a life! There’s no failure, defeat, or darkness in you; only blessings, excellence, perfection, and glory. 1 Peter 3:9 says you were called to inherit a blessing, not shame or weakness. This is the life you’ve received in Christ; it’s one of dominion over sickness, disease, demons, poverty, failure and death. Glory to God!
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Actually, it’s not scripturally correct in the New Testament to say, “May God’s Spirit rest upon you.” Someone may read our opening verse and run off with the idea that even Paul desired that the power of Christ may “rest upon him.” That wasn’t the case.
What Paul said wasn’t about the power of Christ resting upon him. The word translated “rest” is from the Greek, “episkenoo,” which is a combination of two words: “epi” meaning “a superimposition,” and “skenoo” meaning “habitation.” “Episkenoo” therefore means, “coming over something to take charge of it from within.”
Paul was in other words describing his experience of being continuously filled with the Spirit.
Another use of the term “rest upon” is seen in 1 Peter 4:14, where the Bible says, “If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you….” Here, the word, “anapauo” is used, which refers to being refreshed or given rest, but not as in sleep.
If you study the context, you’ll observe that it says, if you’re persecuted because of Jesus, happy are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God will give you rest; He refreshes you and strengthens you. The Greek word doesn’t say rest upon you; it can’t even be translated that way.
The essence of the detailed foregoing explanations is that in the New Testament, there’s no suggestion of the Holy Ghost coming to rest upon us. The emphasis throughout the Scriptures is for us to be full of the Spirit because He lives in us. This was the standard in the early Church, and it’s still our standard today.
The Bible says, “…and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Ghost…” (Acts 6:5). In Acts 4:31 NIV, it says, “After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken, and THEY WERE ALL FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT….” This is the will of God for us today in the Church: being continually filled with the Spirit.
As a Christian, you’re not subject to disease, infirmities or demons, because you have the transcendent life in Christ. You’re not in bondage to the elements of this world; you live above them. I love the way the Apostle Peter puts it; he said, *“Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust”* (2 Peter 1:4).
You live far above and beyond the corruption, decadence and darkness of this world because you’re an associate of the God-kind, a partaker of the divine nature. You’re superior to Satan and the corrupting influences ofthis present world of darkness. Your life is full of blessings, glory and virtue. Virtue is excellence; you have an excellent life in Christ Jesus.
Think about the Apostle Peter who wrote the beautiful verses of scripture that we read earlier; he once trembled with fear and denied the Lord Jesus before a little girl. His faith was unstable. But after he received the Holy Spirit, something changed. He expressed and manifested the God-life in Him with such glory and boldness that through his preaching, three thousand souls gave their hearts to Christ in one day, as revealed in Acts 2:41.
What transformed him? He had come to the revelation of the glorious life we have in Christ. What a life! There’s no failure, defeat, or darkness in you; only blessings, excellence, perfection, and glory. 1 Peter 3:9 says you were called to inherit a blessing, not shame or weakness. This is the life you’ve received in Christ; it’s one of dominion over sickness, disease, demons, poverty, failure and death. Glory to God!
Self Assessment: Am I Weak-Minded?
Signs of a weak mindset:
Apologising for everything
Avoidance of social situations
You're constantly defensive
Allowing critics to control you
You obsess about your problems
Having or showing a lack of mental firmness; irresolute; vacillating.
Having or showing mental feebleness; foolish.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone’s behavior made you question their ability to handle life’s challenges?
Perhaps you’ve encountered a colleague who consistently avoids taking responsibility or a friend who never seems to stick to their commitments.
These instances, while frustrating, aren’t just isolated incidents. They may be signs of a weak-minded person.
In this article, I want to delve into what it means to be weak-minded and highlight five telling signs that you may have encountered this trait in someone you know — or even in yourself.
1. Fear of Failure and Risk Aversion
First and foremost, let’s talk about a common trait among those who are weak-minded: the crippling fear of failure.
Does this sound familiar? You want to try something new, but the fear of failing holds you back.
A weak-minded person will often choose to stay within their comfort zone, avoiding any potential risk that might lead to failure.
Imagine being at a crossroads, where one path is familiar, comfortable, and without any surprises, while the other is unknown, filled with potential, but risky.
A weak-minded individual will almost always choose the first path.
Why? Because they’re afraid of what might happen if they fail.
They prefer the known, the comfortable, and the secure, even if it means giving up on growth and new experiences.
2. Lack of Commitment
Do you know someone who often makes big promises but rarely follows through? This lack of commitment is another red flag of a weak-minded person.
Picture this: a friend tells you they’re going to join you in starting a new fitness routine. They’re excited, they’re motivated, they’re ready to go.
But a week later, they’ve already found excuses to skip the gym. They weren’t really committed in the first place.
They let the smallest obstacles derail their plans. The weak-minded person doesn’t just struggle with commitment to others; they often lack commitment to themselves and their own personal growth.
3. Inability to Control Emotions
How do you react when things don’t go your way? Are you able to take a deep breath and approach the situation with a calm and rational mindset? Or do you let your emotions take over?
The inability to control emotions is another hallmark of the weak-minded.
This doesn’t mean that being emotional is a bad thing; emotions are a natural part of being human.
However, a weak-minded person allows their emotions to dictate their actions, often leading to impulsive and irrational decisions.
Think about the last time you saw someone lose control of their temper over something minor.
That inability to keep emotions in check might be a sign of a weak-minded person.
It’s an indication that they haven’t developed the mental strength to approach life’s challenges with balance and calm.
4. Dependence on Others for Validation
Have you ever felt the need for constant praise and validation from those around you?
It’s normal to seek affirmation from friends and family, but a weak-minded person takes this to the extreme.
They rely on others to validate their worth, seeking constant approval and fearing criticism.
Imagine working on a project and feeling the need to have every single step approved by someone else.
This constant need for reassurance is not only exhausting for those around you but also a sign of insecurity and a lack of self-belief.
5. Avoidance of Responsibility
Finally, we come to perhaps the most revealing sign of a weak-minded person: the avoidance of responsibility.
Do you always find someone else to blame when things go wrong?
Are you quick to point fingers rather than take ownership of your mistakes?
Avoiding responsibility is a surefire way to stunt personal growth.
By blaming others, the weak-minded individual misses out on valuable learning opportunities.
They’re unable to see their own role in a situation, and as a result, they’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
Weak-mindedness isn’t a permanent condition
The truth is, we’ve all exhibited some of these traits at one time or another.
What’s crucial is recognizing them and working to overcome them.
If you’ve seen yourself in any of these signs, ask yourself —
What can you do to build mental strength?
How can you push past the fear of failure, commit to your goals, control your emotions, find self-validation, and take responsibility for your actions?
Becoming mentally strong isn’t an overnight process, but it’s a journey worth taking.
By recognizing the signs of a weak-minded person, you can begin to take control of your life, embrace challenges, and become the strong, resilient person you were meant to be.
Now, what are you waiting for? Are you ready to take that first step? The path to mental strength is right in front of you.
All you have to do is choose to walk it.
A pastor got a distress call from Port Harcourt
The lady who called him was in a serious dilemma
What happened?
It was her wedding day.
After the joining and reception, she and her husband retired to a hotel for their honeymoon
They rested a bit and consummated the union
After the consummation, she fell asleep.
When she woke up at about 9pm, her husband was not by her side
Where could he have gone?
She waited for a while and then decided he must have gone to thank some of their guests who were lodged in the same hotel with them for the wedding ceremony.
She felt it would be appropriate for her to check on them too, and thank them because most of them would be checking out very early the next morning.
She dressed up and took the elevator to the ground floor.
She knew the room number of the best man, her husband's best friend
She walked there eagerly
When she got there, she saw something that shocked her to the core
Her husband and the best man were both naked and
doing the unthinkable
She screamed and fainted.
They rushed her back to her room with the hotel staff's support
They lied that she must have been overwhelmed by the wedding activities
She eventually regained consciousness
Her husband told her not to shout or tell anybody what she witnessed
He said he was saying farewell to a partner who had stood by him for many years, and it was not meant for her to witness.
Side note: A strong mindset would have called off the whole sham right there and without any sentiment.
A weak mindset would think, "Am I at fault?" "Is something wrong with me?" "What will people say?" "My marriage is over on day one!"
She could not unsee what she had seen, and embarrassing herself by calling attention to it was not a comfortable thing.
She lay on the bed all night, weighing her options.
She couldn't even imagine him touching her again or even regarding him as her husband.
He was irritating to her in every way
This was when she started scrolling through her phone, and she saw this pastor on X.
A random pastor who didn't know her from Adam.
She decided to talk to him and share the challenge she was facing
She reached out, and the pastor picked up her call
They talked for a while
The pastor told her she has to leave the marriage
She said there must be a path to redemption for her husband through the Holy Spirit
The pastor said, In his experience, it is best to leave people with certain sexual preferences alone than try to change them because their choice is innate and it is up to them to turn their lives around or leave it as it is.
She said she would really like the pastor to pray for her husband and deliver him from the spirit that was troubling him.
The pastor told her to give the phone to her husband.
Her husband appreciated the pastor's call and said the sinner's prayer
The wife believed he had now turned a new leaf, and she resumed sexual relations with him
She got pregnant.
One day, she went to the office and took ill due to the pregnancy. The doctor recommended bed rest.
She returned home earlier than usual, used her key to access their flat through the rear exit, and discovered her husband with another young man on her matrimonial bed, doing the unthinkable
She packed her bags that day and left the union.
She called the pastor to share what she saw. The pastor was shocked.
The pastor told her a woman had written to him asking him to talk to her son, who was exhibiting certain strange sexual behaviour.
The pastor said he called her husband, believing he had been cured, and asked him to help counsel the young man due to his previous experience.
It was that young man that the wife caught her husband with.
PS: Certain afflictions are a result of weak-mindedness. The weak do cruel things in the name of being unable to control themselves or being unable to help themselves.
The strong train themselves not to yield to weak impulses, and they take ownership of their thinking process and decision-making parameters.
Distance yourself from weak minded people, they will hurt you over and over again
You see believers today full of condemnation.
You wonder where they got it from
When did it become cool to act, think, talk, and imbibe the culture of the Pharisees so much that a follower of Jesus and Pharisees became the same?
A woman was caught in adultery
A Christian says, "Put her out of the church; she is not worthy to be a part of our fellowship, she has betrayed the faith."
A Pharisee says, "Put her to death, that is the law of Moses."
Jesus says, "Neither do I condemn you, go and DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN."
I know a woman who was dating a married man for many years
When she was doing it, she found an excuse to justify herself
She didn't do it because she was broke, hungry, or lacking
Her parents provided all that she needed, she had a job and she met the man in the course of her work
She was also a believer, with a very good standing in church
After her thirtieth birthday, she decided she was ready to get married
She began to fast and pray
She went from this mountain to that trusting God for a husband
The first suitor arrived, and they began to talk
The first thing she said was, "Cheating is a deal breaker for me."
The man agreed, and they got married.
Years later, she reached out to me and said she suspected that the man was cheating on her.
I said, "Okay"
She asked me to call him and talk to him because she could not tolerate cheating and would leave the marriage if the man persisted.
She also sent me the phone number of the other woman and asked me to call her and threaten her with God's wrath and vengeance if she does not leave her husband alone.
I told her that I cannot call the woman, but I will have a conversation with her husband and find out if what she said was true
It turned out that her husband was not cheating.
I called her and, with good evidence, showed her that her husband was not cheating.
She heaved a sigh of relief and began to scream, "I thought he was cheating, I would have done this, I would have done that, I would have burnt this down and destroyed that."
I told her that she would have done nothing.
The worst she would have done would be to leave the marriage, and another woman would have taken a place within a month.
She was shocked.
"Ha, what are you saying, sir?"
"When I discovered you were sleeping with a married man some years ago, did I condemn you?" I asked
"No, sir," she said
When you told me you wanted to move on from that relationship to become a wife to another man, did I judge you? I asked
"No, sir," She replied
I have no bone of condemnation in me.
The same way I did not condemn you, I will not condemn your husband or any woman he might have gotten involved with if he had been cheating on you.
The LORD detests differing weights, and dishonest scales do not please him.
I cannot show you the love of Christ to bring you out of an unprofitable lifestyle and then show others something else.
I am not a judge of relationships, I am not a condemner of people's lifestyle and choices
I have made my stand clear from the moment I met the Lord and chose to become an ambassador of Christ.
Christ is my message.
Christ and Christ alone.
I do not preach sin, judgment, or condemnation
I do not preach demons, evil, fire, and brimstone
I do not preach hell, death, and sickness
I did not give my life to those things, and I do not represent that brand
I represent Christ and the fullness of His life as revealed to all men, regardless of their situation, circumstances, choices, worldview, belief system, and way of life
I am full of the Holy Spirit, and I am anointed to bring the divine life of Christ to the consciousness of the people that they may see that light and become as He is.
She looked at me and said, "Sir, permit me to say this, sir, respectfully, you are weird".
"I know". I replied.
As you grow in your walk with Christ, you will come to a conclusion that is beautiful and glorious.
If you stay on Christ alone as your message, regardless of how tempting it is to jump on the bandwagon of popular opinion and pressure from those around you who are hell-bent on legislating morality and preaching right and wrong...
You will have a glorious ministry backed by the Holy Spirit in such a manner that you will not be able to explain it.
You will also have peace and an understanding of the realities of God that you cannot get from any other source.
Christ is pure, and preaching Christ makes you pure in all your ways.
Neither do I condemn you!
-GSW-
I was invited to preach in a foreign country
The protocol officers were supposed to take me straight to the hotel from the airport, but I wanted to see the church and get a feel of the auditorium without the crowd
It helps sometimes to take a walk around the auditorium while praying quietly before one ministers
Especially if you are led by the Holy Spirit to do so
So I told the protocol guys to take me to the church
When we got there, I told them to wait in the car while I took a walk within the main auditorium
They argued a bit, but eventually agreed that I would be fine by myself
I went to into the church auditorium and slowly began my silent prayer walk
When I got to the rear exit of the auditorium, I saw some very beautiful decorations
They were so beautiful and compelling to the point that I felt like touching them
I touched them and several of the carefully arranged flowers fell off
Ha! What sort of trouble is this?
I began to pick them up
A lady came out of nowhere and started helping me to pick them up
I apologised to her and said, "I am willing to pay for the damages, please help me fix this."
She gave me that bombastic side eye
Two other ladies arrived on the scene with brooms in their hands
They began to help pick the flowers and rearrange them
Out of the corner of my eyes, I realised I knew one of them
She was the wife of the pastor who invited me to his church to preach
Ha! Pastor's wife, I screamed
She also recognised me at the same time
Ha! Brother Gbenga, she screamed
What are you doing here with a broom in your hand? I asked
She looked at the other ladies, and they gave us some distance
She said, "I am trusting God for a child, and I made a vow to God that I will keep his house clean until he answers my prayers."
I looked at her intently and said "So you and two other ladies sweep this huge auditorium whenever you have a service?"
She said, "No, sir, they accompany me, but I sweep it all by myself everyday sir. I have been doing this for about six months now."
Wow!
I said, "So how do you get home and give bishop good sex after this sort of manual labour?"
She kept quiet.
I said, "In Jesus name, I relieve you of this vow.
Receive your babies now as a favour from the Lord."
She fell on her knees and shouted Amen.
I signalled the other ladies over and told them that their pastor's wife would no longer be sweeping the church daily.
Their faces lit up.
It must have been daily torture for both of them to watch her labour like that for six months.
The one who gave me a bombastic side eye before, took advantage of the situation and said, "Sir, I am also trusting God to provide me with a husband. I want to be married by this time next year, I am 35 years old sir"
I smiled and said, "For helping me out earlier, whatever you ask of the Lord has been given to you by the power of the Holy Spirit".
She also said Amen.
I prayed for the third lady, too.
The third lady was the Pastor's wife's younger sister. She knelt down so many times, thanking me for setting her and her sister free from the daily labour.
This is the good news I received a year later.
The pastor's wife delivered a set of triplets, the other lady got married and delivered a baby girl, while the pastor's wife's younger sister got married too and delivered a set of twins!
So much good news to share to the Glory of God
PS: I also learnt my lessons about touching decorations when I do my prayer walk.
I now keep my hands to myself.
-GSW-
A 2025 study found that men who reported being abused or neglected as children had measurably different chemistry inside their sperm cells than men who didn’t. The researchers in Finland sequenced sperm from 55 fathers and matched each result to the man’s score on a childhood trauma questionnaire.
The findings stood out in two ways. First, 68 small molecules inside the sperm, the kind that tell cells which genes to switch on, were present at different levels in the high-trauma group. Second, three spots on the DNA had fewer of the chemical tags that act like volume knobs for nearby genes.
Two of those DNA spots sat right next to brain-development genes. The first, CRTC1, helps construct the brain’s memory center and is also tied to depression. GBX2 shapes a developing baby’s brain in the womb.
The study did not prove these chemical changes get passed to a man’s children. Both groups had identical DNA. The difference was in the chemical labels around the DNA, which act like sticky notes telling the body which genes to read. Whether those sticky notes get copied into a child is a separate question, and the researchers say answering it would, in their own words, “rewrite the rules of inheritance.”
In mice, the case is much stronger. In 2014, neuroscientist Isabelle Mansuy at the University of Zurich took male mice that had been separated from their mothers and exposed to repeated stress, harvested their sperm, pulled out the small molecules inside, and injected those molecules into normal mouse embryos. The pups that grew from those embryos showed signs of depression, like giving up sooner in stressful tests, and altered blood sugar. Same symptoms as the stressed fathers. The pups had never been anywhere near those fathers, yet the molecules alone had carried the changes across to them.
That same year, two researchers at Emory University, Brian Dias and Kerry Ressler, trained male mice to fear the smell of acetophenone, a chemical that smells like cherries and almonds. The sons and grandsons of those trained mice, who had never been exposed to acetophenone themselves, still flinched at it.
The human evidence is still thin. Geneticist John Greally at Albert Einstein College of Medicine has argued for years that the human sample sizes are too small and the mechanism in humans is unproven. The Finland team agrees. The follow-up study tracking the men’s actual children is now underway.
Join Angels in Ministering To The Lord
A few years ago I had a question asked of me that I have never had asked me before or since! It was a good question to ask, it being the Christmas season. The question was, “Does the Bible say that angels sing?” The person asking me the question was under the impression angels sing, but someone had told them there is no place in the Bible where it says angels sing. Must we abandon our singing of, “Hark The Herald Angels Sing”?!?!
I think there is Biblical evidence that angels do sing. One truth is for sure: the Bible does not say they don’t sing!
Job 38:7 seems to clearly indicate that the angels sang at the creation of the world. “The Lord answered Job out of the storm. He said…’Who marked off its dimensions?…who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set or who laid its cornerstone – while the morning stars sang together and all the angles shouted for joy?’” (Job 38:1-7).
In this passage the words “morning stars” is another term for angels and is an example of Hebrew parallelism, where the second line of Hebrew poetry repeats the same idea as the first line in different words yet they have the same meaning. In other words, the “morning stars” (angels) sang and shouted for joy at creation.
Whether angels sang or not was never a question with the Jews. Found in Jewish tradition is the belief that, in order for angelic songs of praise and worship to be heard before the throne of God at all times the angels sang in shifts.
In the Midrash, which is a collection of Jewish teachings as found in the Torah, is recorded that when Moses spent his forty days with God, he knew what time it was by the angels changing singing shifts.
When it comes to the story of the birth of Jesus, it reads, “And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of heavenly host praising God, and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill toward men’” (Luke 2:13-14).
Some will point out that the word “saying” is used not “singing.” However, to focus only on the word “saying” is too narrow of a focus. It also says the “heavenly host” (angels) were “praising God.” Doesn’t praise imply singing as well? Just what is praise? Praise, according the dictionary, is “the offering of grateful homage in word or song, as an act of worship, a hymn of praise to God.”
The word praise points us to singing. Praising the Lord and singing are inexorably connected. Praising the Lord on such a joyous occasion as the birth of Christ how could such praise not lead to singing? The announcement of Christ’s birth was not sterile and mechanical. It would be unimaginable to think the angels didn’t sing at the birth of our Savior. It would be unimaginable to think that whatever the angels had to “say” their praise naturally flowed into in joyous singing.
Angels sang the story out, for they could not stay to tell it in heavy prose. They sang, ‘Glory to God on high, and on earth peace, good will towards men.’
They sang it with gladness in their eyes; with their hearts burning with love, and with breasts as full of joy as if the good news to man had been good news to themselves.”
The angels sang at creation and at Christ’s birth, and we find angels singing in the book of Revelation.
Throughout Revelation, chapters four and five are filled with references to “angels,” “living creatures,” “the four beasts,” “twenty-four elders,” and “every creature which is in heaven” (5:13), worshiping, saying, singing, and praising He who sits on the throne.
It is obvious the terms are used interchangeably to speak of singing as the meaning, not just speaking. Revelation 5:8-10 reads that the four beasts and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb (Christ), “having every one of them harps and golden vials full of odors, which are the prayers of saints, and they sung a new song, saying….”
While the four beasts and twenty-four angels were singing the next verse says the angels joined in with them. When speaking of the angels, Revelation 5:11-12 declares, “And I beheld, and I heard the voice of many angels round about the throne and the beasts and the elders: and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands; saying with a loud voice, ‘Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory, and blessing.’”
While the term “saying” is used, it is most clear the terms sung (v. 10) and saying (vs.10-11) are used synonymously as, again, verse 9 reads, “and they sung a new song, saying…” With chapters four and five of Revelation bathed in song, praise and worship, it is rather obvious that singing is implied and is the meaning, not just speaking.
Do angels sing? I think the answer is obvious. God has created “every creature which is in heaven and on the earth” (Rev. 5:13), with an inner propensity for singing and exhorts us to sing and make melody in our hearts to Him (Eph. 5:19). At Christmas time if you listen closely, you can hear angels singing all around us of the Good News that a Savior has come to dwell with us.
Let us lift our voices in song with the chorus of angels who on that first Christmas night sang joyfully of our Savior’s birth.
Let us raise our voices in praise and joyful song for our great God who came to walk amongst us. As we sing of the Christmas story we continue that crescendo of praise heard on that first Christmas night and that has continued to echo down through the ages. Sing joyfully. The angels do.