My general rule for feeling mentally well is understanding that the more I judge others negatively, the more I anticipate negative judgement from others. Practicing kindness and leniency and forgiveness has no guarantee of reciprocation, but it puts you in a better state of mind.
Honestly it’s kind of upsetting how much of the autism experience is just being shamed out expressing yourself in any way that’s normal for you and learning to keep everything to yourself so you’re not shamed for being weird and then being shamed for being so quiet because it’s also weird to be quiet but if you tell this to anyone else they’ll say “why do you care so much what people think” and that’s when the ancient ape part of your brain gets ready to beat them to death.
Autistic person here, people think I’m antisocial but I’m not. Solitude is how I recover from masking, constant noise, and being overstimulated. If I don’t get enough time alone, I don’t just get tired I completely shut down.
Autism on TV:
I bluntly insult someone, they get upset, and I double down arguing why their feelings are “illogical” instead of just saying sorry.
Autism in real life:
A friend hasn’t replied in 3 days so I’m replaying every single conversation we’ve ever had like a detective, convinced I said something rude and they secretly hate me forever. 😭
The ultimate neurodivergent loop: needing alone time because your senses are fried, but desperately wanting company because you feel profoundly lonely. Both feelings happening simultaneously. Constantly.
The late diagnosed autistic realization that people you considered best friends in childhood, didn't just "accidentally" lose touch with you in adulthood.
Giving up all control
Sick of me standing in the way of letting it go
Baby, I gotta know, every last part of me
So sick of my head
It's over, I quit
I'm sick of myself, I'm sick of this bullshit
How was your day? Is it just something you say
Cause I think you only care if it goes your way
You dug your grave, so don't blame me
This is the end farewell, farewell fair weather friend
So good to talk to you again