Beamer Weems

The OFFICIAL unofficial page of the greatest being currently living..... All will experiance The Beam Dog's wrath

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

Virginia Woolf is afraid of the Beam Dog....

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog calls sleep: shut eye. Not as a figure of speech but as a literal act of 1 of his eyes. The other eye is prepared for anything.

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

No one ever threatens the Beam Dog without consequences... The one man who ever tried was never heard from again. His name? Beamer Weems....

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog once called a press conference to announce that The Beam Dog was not going to call a press conference...

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog had a press conference to announce the only thing about the Beam Dog that will ever re-tire is his jacked up F-250.....

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog told Clint Eastwood to get off HIS lawn.....

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog slept once in 1997....... ONCE!.....

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The back of the Beam Dog's head knows how to party.....

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog always retransmits Major League Baseball games without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball....

[Furnishing Dreams @furnishdreams]

The Beam Dog just signed this kid's hat... with his mind.
@RRExpress
@NOTbeamerweems

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog always records the 28th defensive out of any game he participates in. Even if the game doesn't go into extra innings....

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog has never done his taxes, yet The Beam Dog receives his tax returns every year... Including years he wasn't even alive yet...

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog just signed with Texas.... Making the Beam Dog the first Texas Ranger that moonlights as a Texas Ranger.... In Oklahoma...

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

Neither side of the pillow is cool enough for The Beam Dog......

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog can successfully do a personalized secret handshake with you..... Even if he's never met you.....

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog once made the kessel run in less than twelve parsecs.....

[San Diego Padres @Padres]

Thinking about everyone back home in #SanDiego. Thank you to all of our
first responders for their tireless efforts.

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog released the kraken..... Twice....

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

Yankees 2B Dean Anna has a HR tonight.

Robinson Cano has 0 homers this season. (h/t @AndrewMarchand)

[Beamer Weems @NOTbeamerweems]

The Beam Dog has a career 1004 fielding percentage......