haha

wow!

[haha @NUDELOSER]

here’s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store

[haha @NUDELOSER]

me after just cleaning my room:

wow, I am never letting my room get messy again!

the next day:

has anyone seen my bed

[haha @NUDELOSER]

things to say during sex:

- nothing
- u dont need sex
- the lord is watching
- amen

[haha @NUDELOSER]

which is messier my life or my hair

[haha @NUDELOSER]

do u think celebrities have each others numbers like rihanna will just text beyoncé and be like “dude I want a pizza so bad rn lol"

[haha @NUDELOSER]

me: 👠
you: 👡

[haha @NUDELOSER]

mary had a little lamb

whos fleece was white as snow

it went out to a club one night

and dropped it hella low

[haha @NUDELOSER]

Hairdresser: do you like it?

Me: yes thank you

*goes home and cries*

[haha @NUDELOSER]

when i say im good at something i mean i suck slightly less at it than the other things i suck at

[haha @NUDELOSER]

plot twist: maury is the father

[haha @NUDELOSER]

*woman gives birth*

woman: I think I'll name her sara

doctor: I'm sorry, but that name's already taken.. may i suggest sara89 or sara_13?

[haha @NUDELOSER]

I feel like its been winter for 87 years now

[haha @NUDELOSER]

im actually so sarcastic all the time its gotten to the point where i have to tell people im serious when i compliment them

[haha @NUDELOSER]

it's really hard to stop watching netflix when it automatically plays the next episode for you

[haha @NUDELOSER]

makeup, bras and tampons should be free.

I didnt choose the vag life
or to be ugly

wtf

[haha @NUDELOSER]

If u can’t handle the sass
u can’t handle the ass

[haha @NUDELOSER]

my self esteem has two levels:

im a worthless piece of shit who deserves no love and

bow down before me bitches i am your queen

[haha @NUDELOSER]

THERE IS NO BETTER MOMENT AT A CONCERT THAN WHEN THE SINGER STOPS SINGING AND THE CROWD CONTINUES THE SONG AND YOU SEE THEM ALL SMILE

[haha @NUDELOSER]

the people who make lyric videos on youtube are the backbone of this nation

[haha @NUDELOSER]

*eating ice cream in the winter*

THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY