๐ฉ 27 points dropped from winning positions last season
๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ฅ๓ ฎ๓ ง๓ ฟ Tuchel - takes Dan Burn and uses him as the perfect solution to shut up shop when defending a lead late on
๐ฉ Eddie Howe - "I reckon that 6ft 7 guy is a class left back"
1. Will never be the same player again after his Achilles
2. ยฃ150m for a crocked anorexic who only turns up when heโs playing Tunisia and took you from champions to 5th
3. Hunch-Back Colback who nobody had heard of until 3 weeks ago
#BigMovesHughes
Things that are more enjoyable than watching Newcastle United:
- Chinese water torture
- Stubbing your toe
- Walking on hot coals
- Being stung by wasps
- Drowning
- Sitting on a cactus
- Having your teeth pulled out with no anaesthetic
- Having kidney stones
- Drinking bleach
- Being kicked in the balls
- 1st degree burns
- Snapping your Achilles tendon
- Getting your limbs cut off
- Being beheaded
- Being eaten by a pack of wolves
- Being hit by a bullet train
- Being boiled alive
- Radiation poisoning
- Stepping on a landmine
- Being skinned alive
- Falling into a black hole