Court Tweets

The things that happen in court that you won't read about in the final copy. Now with bonus emojis ⚖

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

@chamfy @hotcity_akl He has excellent taste in novels

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Oh daaaaaaaaaamn. Defendant just turned up wearing a bow tie
#courttweet 😚🎀🎻🏛🥂

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Shoplifter: “if you look at my criminal record, I’m not a thief. I’ve just been a dickhead most of my life”
#courttweet 🥴🙌🍆⚖️💣📉

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Defendant gets praised by the judge for letter from boss saying he “usually turns up on time and has sober habits”
#courttweet 🫠👍🍻⏰

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

@OlleySamantha Brooke Fraser and Fat Freddy’s get some of those sweet royalties now 💵

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Judge to defendant on AVL: “can you see and hear me, and do you understand I’m a judge?”
D: “you look the part”
J: 👀
#courttweet 🥸☠️👏⚖️

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

@ToyCronin The guy has sacked three lawyers and is a vexatious litigant. But yeah, good on him

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Nothing says ‘self-represented’ like bringing your important documents to court in a reusable supermarket bag
#courttweet 😑☠️👏👀🍿

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

@JadeineMcLeod I’m assuming they weren’t QCs.

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Lawyer asks for court to excuse his client’s absence because “he has diarrhoea”
Cheers, mate.
#courttweet 🤢💩💧🍛🚽

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

@FireMonty @ApostleTamaki @nzpolice Correct. I am DISPLEASED

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

@sureyou14 @NZNationalParty @NZParliament @nzpolice I’ll get right onto this…

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

@honey0085 @Mohamma93310055 @jacindaardern @EricaStanfordMP @RMarchNZ @chrishipkins @JudithCollinsMP @NZHumanRights @UNOCHA @nzlabour @KrisinMana Not sure I can help

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Defence lawyer on ‘sick’ client: “[on the phone] it sounded like he was vomiting, while I was trying to eat my breakfast. It’s either an Oscar-winning performance or he’s telling the truth.”
#courttweet 🤢🤮☠️☎️🎬

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Defendant to judge: “I’m hoping I get bail this week because it’s my birthday on Sunday” #courttweet 😉🤙🍻🥂🎉🎁

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Lawyer’s child runs into background of AVL during hearing.
Judge: “was that a brief appearance by junior counsel?”
Lawyer: “I’m just happy he was clothed”
#courttweet 😊👨‍👦👖👶💻❌

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Judge on recidivist burglar seeking bail: “he’s been to court nearly as many times as me!”
#courttweet 🤨😹🔥🍻⚖️

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Probation discussing black spot in home D address toilet: “how often does someone spend hours and hours in the toilet?”
Judge: “I’m not going to comment on that”
#courttweet 🤭💩🚽🛁🧻

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Lawyer defending drug dealer addicted to pokies: “I remember when I was 20 and discovered those machines. It was a hell of a problem to sort through”
#courttweet 😎🧎🎰💻⏰

[Court Tweets @NZcourttweets]

Lawyer asks for client to be brought to court rather than beamed in by AVL. Judge asks why.
“I like to feel and see and smell my client, sir”
#courttweet 😶🖐👀👃🙉⛷⚖️