Laura

Easily distracted, talks too much in class~ 🌊✊🏿🏳️‍🌈🌏 🇦🇺VERY MARRIED 🚫NO DM’s unless you are on fire/bleeding out & need me to call an ambulance

[Laura @NaffStuff]

@scammerswifts I like both Travis and Joe
Both brought out different elements so can we just move on already and wish them the best

[FeelGoodTales @feelgoodtale]

A 96-year-old woman wrote this letter to her bank, and it became so funny that the bank manager decided to share it in the New York Times.

To whom it may concern,

I’m writing to thank you for bouncing my check when I tried to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, only a few nanoseconds passed between when he deposited the check and when the funds finally arrived in my account. I’m referring, of course, to the automatic monthly transfer from my savings account, which has been set up for the past 31 years.

I want to give you credit for catching that short gap of time and also for charging me a $30 penalty for the trouble you caused.

I’m actually thankful because this incident made me rethink my financial habits. I realized that while I always answer your phone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I’m stuck with your impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded messages that don’t help at all. So from now on, I’ll deal only with a real person.

From now on, my mortgage and loan payments will no longer be automatic. Instead, I will send a check to an employee at your bank who you will have to choose. No one else is allowed to open that envelope—it’s against the Postal Act.

I’m attaching an Application Contact Status form that your chosen employee will need to fill out. It’s a long one, but it’s necessary because I want to know as much about them as your bank knows about me. They’ll also need to provide proof of their financial situation and medical history, signed by a Notary Public.

Once this is all set up, I’ll give your employee a special PIN number for dealing with me. It will be 28 digits long—just like the number of button presses I have to do to check my account balance using your phone service. I’m just copying you, and they say imitation is the highest form of flattery.

I’ll also be updating my voicemail. Here’s the menu you’ll need to follow if you call me:

Press 1: To make an appointment with me. Press 2: To ask about a missing payment. Press 3: To reach me in my living room if I’m there. Press 4: To reach me in my bedroom if I’m sleeping. Press 5: To reach me in the bathroom if I’m in there. Press 6: To reach my mobile if I’m not home. Press 7: To leave a message on my computer (password needed). Press 8: To go back to the main menu.

If you need to make a complaint, I’ll put you on hold, but don’t worry—some pleasant music will play while you wait.

Oh, and just like you do, I’m adding a $50 setup fee for all of this. Please credit my account after each payment.

Sincerely,

Your Humble Client

(Just remember, this was written by a 96-year-old woman!)

[OBJIZZY 🪐 @OBJIZZY]

Her face when she realised she was being recorded 🥺😂

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Evgeny Kostyuchenko is a cake artist known for transforming cakes into sculptural, visually striking works of edible art.

[🎂 nameless_cake]

[youlistentous🩷 @lvijeo]

new addition > attending friend’s wedding. every tongue that rises against joe alwyn shall fall https://t.co/M92QXfHHQW

[💪🎭..Rai ji..💪🎭 @Vinod_r108]

WOW! Now that's a Halloween costume. 😳

[Samuel Constante @milenialmentor]

China finalmente ha inventado zapatos que pueden flotar en el agua. Ahora por fin podemos caminar sobre el agua como Jesús.

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Mastering the art of the perfect shot

[Dweller @One_Way_Home]

Thankfully, these turtles prioritize saving their friend instead of recording their demise with a cell phone.

[Dr. Maalouf ‏ @realMaalouf]

A Muslim passenger:
"Excuse me, can you turn off the music?"

The driver:
"Why?"

The passenger:
"Music is haram."

The driver:
"Why is music haram?"

The passenger:
"Because there was no music in the time of prophet Muhammad."

The driver:
"Well, get off then. There were no cars back then either. A camel will come pick you up."

😂🤭😂

[Suzie rizzio @Suzierizzo1]

Another day another pardoned J6er arrested and sentenced to 19 years for sexually assaulting a 7 year old little girl!

[Gonzalo @gonziver]

Hay gente que vive al límite.
Y después están los que instalan el aire.

[Self Defense DIY @SelfDefenseDIY]

Top 3 best self defense technique for everyone.

[Kevin W. @Brink_Thinker]

How would you have handled it?🤔

[Laura @NaffStuff]

AI yet again, but still kinda funny

[Champagne Joshi @JoshWalkos]

Bro was genuinely scared to death. 😂 🤣

[Dad to the Bone @Dad_2_The_Bone]

Took him a while to finally tell us something true

[Anonymous @YourAnonNews]

If Trump wants to be on currency so badly, bring back the penny.