𝙣𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙤𝙣 𝙫𝙚𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙚™

developer alt: @nexxai • top 0.001% of onlyfans creators • yin yoga black belt • vaccine enthusiast • 4x therapy world champion • avi: @gazpachomachine • he/him

[the thicc husband & father @lukeisamazing]

that shit looks like the Elephant’s Foot at Chernobyl

[cav empty @cavempty_]

exwife argued how i mistreat and torture my homunculus as a reason why i shouldn’t have custody of the kids, like that’s completely different and you know it

[willow @cvsprophet]

happy pride to this guy who mistook my number for his dad's and apologized for being gay

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

Me: *puts on a backpack*

The backpack straps:

[Kama @Kama_Kamilia]

Member of the French resistance on the coast of Normandy, 6th of June 1944

[Sara @SaraCivian]

My bf who doesn’t watch much hockey rn: “why are they (Vegas) breaking so many rules”

Oh honey…

[demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon]

my take on the topic du jour? well. i agree with some of the involved. as for the others they must be shot in the street like dogs

[𝙣𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙤𝙣 𝙫𝙚𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙚™ @NapVeg]

everything i've learned about the LEGO drama has been against my will

[Ceri ⚠︎ @Cyberberri]

"don't abort. What if i wanna jerk off to your daughter one day"

[𝙣𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙤𝙣 𝙫𝙚𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙚™ @NapVeg]

i have zero tolerance for pricks like this who spend 12-14 hours by themselves competing in an ironman, leaving their children crying and alone in the world

[Chris Boettcher @chrisboettcher9]

I have zero tolerance for dads who show up on vacation, immediately crack and cold one, and then spend hours observing the fun their kids are having from a chair instead of being a part of it.

You can choose numbness or you can choose to make memories. You don't get the time back.

[Cohen is a ghost @skullmandible]

man I'm going to kidnap soooooooo many 20-year-olds at those phoneless Phoebe Bridgers shows. christmas comin early

[❛ rye ༉‧₊˚ @ryephobic]

love my mom

[Brandon Avedikian @bavedikian]

Bought a $1,742.80 camera online from BestBuy.

The FedEx delivery driver stole it. FedEx admitted it.

But BestBuy won’t give a refund. They said we need to “work with local law enforcement.”

Thought everyone should know if you buy from @BestBuy and a @FedEx driver steals what you paid for, your money is gone. Neither company will make it right.

I’ve spent over $30K at BestBuy and will never spend another penny there.

[Aaron Cannon @AaronLCannon]

I started talking to my co-founder like Claude

[m@thew @TweetPotato314]

ik we couldn’t trust him

[clithony findertano @ducktelevision]

sometimes a big dawg (me) needs a pup cup (8-16 beers)

[۶୧◞ bryce ︵︵ (hiatus !) @ukedepraved]

these microlabels are getting out of hand wtf is a lesbian 😭😭

[Joe Howland 👻 @sXe_Joe]

I write lyrics with the viagra pen because this shit’s hard

[Wolf @wolfncrisis]

oh fuck!
shit shit shit!!