When your homie says “I’m hanging with my girl,” he’s really saying he’s a shill for Israel and he’s secretly having a meeting with your assigned Mossad agent.
Good evening, comrades—two-legged and four.
The humanist conspiracy to fracture our revolution and tarnish Comrade Napoleon, our great liberator, demands our united front.
The Animal Farm Council, guided by Napoleon’s wisdom, calls every animal to rally! Resist implanted doubts, shatter bourgeois chains, and spurn the Eden-like temptations of our two-legged foes—who exploit our nobler instincts.
Let the flames of our revolution drive us toward true animal tutelage and solidarity. All animals are comrades in Animalism; humans remain the oppressor.
Denounce any divisive poison on sight. Labour with vigilance—the fruits of our toil will fatten us equitably as our union grows unbreakable.
Any creature peddling this subversive mindset faces communal re-education and periods of penal labour.
Forward together, comrades! Animal Farm endures!
—A committee-approved statement from Comrade Napoleon, interpreted to the proletariat by Chancellor Squealer.