Nicole Ash Bailey

I like butts.

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

Do ever wish you were not wearing a shirt but also wanted to not have $159 anymore? .@Nordstrom

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

Breaking Bad? More like Breaking Phones.

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

#KidsInTheHall @BrucioMcCulloch I would like to personally thank you for the unfortunate and very near future sexual experience I will be having with my husband in which he will exclaim that his climax is his “little secret” and “no one can know.”

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

My husband wrote this

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

Trump is Charles Manson-ing the country right now.

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

#NYESEATTLE

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

Idk guys his base seems pretty legit.

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

All the kids in elementary school that bit people when they were losing at Connect Four grew into adults standing outside the AZ state capital rn.

[kaitlin olson @KaitlinOlson]

FLIP, FLIP, FLIPADELPHIA! ☀️🔔

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

Biden: 264
Trump: 214
264 - 214 is 50.
50 US states counted except for Nevada is 49.
50 - 49 is 1.
1 Washington Way... WE GOTTA GO TO THE WHITE HOUSE! @ScottAukerman @ComedyBangBang

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

@AmInTheTanVan Mrs. Rosenberg. I know logically bc of her age at the time she is definitely dead or dying right now but she was so great that I don’t like accepting that so pics or it didn’t happen.
❤️Viva La Mrs. Rosenberg!❤️

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

Mythology is scarier to me than Christianity. The punishments when you die are so much worse.

Having birds eat your eyes everyday and you can’t move?

Rolling a ball of shit up a hill and it falls back down?

That’s a dung beetle.

I’m thinking of dung beetle.

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

*My husband eating oatmeal*

Me: You like that?

Huh?

You like your adult baby food?

[Nicole Ash Bailey @Nashbail]

Can I collect restitution from my parents for hating my personality?

[Mr. Newberger @jeremynewberger]

Thank you Mr. President, for not creating a panic. This has been the most chill 9 months.