Natalie Brianne

📖Crafting human stories.
🖋️Harnessing the transformative power of words.
✨Embracing the boundless realm of imagination.

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

I just heard the Old Spice Jingle and it was timed in such a way, and sounded in such a way, that it seemed to be coming from outside. As if it just existed in nature. Like a bird had made a warbling call for deodorant.

The sad truth is, I think it came from the other room.

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

I've officially hit a new author milestone. I've made myself cry.

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

I've been working on my "evil" organization for my book. It has three guilds: smugglers, assassins, and thieves. I settled on the Guild of the Crossroads, Guild of the Cypress, and Guild of the Crescent (for reasons I won't outline here). I told my brother. Then this happened:

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

In case anyone was wondering, here's a link to my book. Who knows? Maybe you'll get it before I do.

https://t.co/UEzR3gA5dQ

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

Why is it that book launches never, ever, go as planned? I've had three so far. The first two were through a small-press, and I didn't get my books until 2 days after the launch date.

#AuthorsOfTwitter #authorlife #NewReleases #launch

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

The launch is tomorrow. My shipment comes on Thursday. I have 2 reviews.
I've never had an in-person launch party before, and now I'm not sure what to do. Any advice? How do I make this work without any books?

#NewReleases #BookTwitter #authorscommunity

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

Author friends!

Ever heard of a story bible?
If there was a ready-made workbook with character sheets, story structures, outlines, research checklists, beta readers, arc readers, social media breakdowns and more premade templates, would that be something you would want?

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

I’m amping myself up for work and my phone gives me this. Is it a sign?

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

Tl;dr Good news. Found another blender. How many blenders to make one smoothie? 3ish. Bad news. Combined magic bullet and mystery blender and they refuse to divorce. Good news: roommate was getting rid of both of them anyway.

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

Discover that another set of cutting blades exists. Realization that blades attached to blender 2 base belong to blender 3: the real magic bullet that is sitting on the table to be donated.

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

Brother suggests surrender and Jamba. Roommate (owner of most blenders) points out other roommate’s blender. Blender 4. The Blendtec. Dump contents of smoothie 1 into blender 4. Will it blend? Yes. Clean Frankenstein blender 2 and 3. Put smoothie in glass. Clean blender 4.

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

Try to remove blender 2 from stand. Blender becomes unscrewed from blades. Smoothie everywhere. Juggling of cold liquid until lid is found. Lid goes flying. Salvage smoothie.

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

Further proof that my life is a sitcom. A thread.
Went to find food. Wasn’t hungry, but dinner time is dinner time. Decided on a smoothie because that’s easy right?

#adhd #kitchen #food #smoothiefail

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

Try blender 1: despite its sleek glass enclosure, it doesn’t blend. Dump contents in blender 2, clean blender 1. Discover blender 2 doesn’t have an on switch. It’s like a magic bullet or something, just no branding. Many attempts to blend. No success.

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

Roommate sees massive scratch on my neck: Holy cow! What happened?
Me: My cat.
Roommate: See! Cats are so vicious.
Me thinking about how I was holding the cat when my mom turned on a blender: Yes. So Vicious.

[Natalie Brianne @NatalieBriBooks]

Wow. Funny how the random day I hop back onto Twitter is #MyTwitterAnniversary