Natalie Markiles

Dorkus Malorkus

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

@semiprecious__ @semiprecious__ the title fiancé is only awarded when EARNED 🙏

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

Every time I think I’ve made a new friend for life, my boyfriend tells me I’ve become subject to another multilevel marketing scheme 😢

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

My insights stand the test of time.

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

Natasha Lyonne could be new "Christopher Walken" re: her ~voice~. All she needs is to be involved in 1 Natalie_murder, and I volunteer.

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

My New Year’s resolution is to start removing my credit card when it says “please remove card,” in spite of the “processing, please wait” that follows.

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

February is the original short king 👑

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

So beautiful AND censored for the whole family ♥️

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

Sometimes after spending all day on the lot I'm like "bleh, why do all these cars have doors?" -me after going on one tour of a studio lot

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

To me, NFT is an acronym for “not my fault”. Like, “NFT I keep wincing when I blow my nose, it’s dry out but I’m also allergic”.

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

Continuously suggesting hiking to my boyfriend, and then mid-hike remembering it involves heights, touching plants, and putting my hands in the dirt to advance: the three things I fear most on this earth (in reverse order).

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

#sneakerella

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

The smell of the area in a bank where there are a few empty desks that nobody ever sits at is a pretty good smell.

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

The cast of “Bel-Air” will not be taking questions at this time.

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

My 27 year old boyfriend got his drivers license yesterday, and the first drive he took on his own was to go to a comic book store. 👍

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

If you think when someone’s birthday happens to be around Christmas is tough, imagine how hard it is to be married to the President with Valentine’s and President’s Day one week apart! #Empath

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

When ppl ask how me and my bf are adjusting to life in LA, i like to point out how on his 3rd day here he bought a ton of pairs of shorts 👍

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

Not sure why I can't believe they made the Puppy Bowl ref and this puppy stand behind the bar on WWHL. What a world.

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

NBC is obsessed with the Olympics 🧐

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

@stconnorpatrick For context, Connor and my dad have agreed to watch this together every single night for the rest of their lives.

[Natalie Markiles @NatalieMarkiles]

Wish I could keep joking around with my coworkers, but too many end up replying that they’re “#Dead” or “dying!” or “fallen and they can’t get up, also low on oxygen, bleeding, can’t reach phone 🪦🪦🪦”.

[Connor Evelich @stconnorpatrick]

They should let different people pick the words for Wordle the same way they let people run the Tig Twitter.