NathanThomas

Trying to find my voice so I can finally listen to it. Musician, poet, father, soccer coach. Peanut butter enthusiast, collector of near-death experiences.

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

@joshklingler Hey, remind Patrick that the Jets passed on him in the draft. Repeat it to him until a visible chip appears on his shoulders.

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

My wife: Why are you eating cocoa krispies, it is 11 pm?

Me: Because we are out of cookies.

My Wife: And are you drinking wine with your cereal?

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

@MayoIsSpicyy So is her base. It is central to their psyche.

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

@elonmusk You are a non-stop fraud.

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

In case you are having a really good day, remember, skin mites are having sex. On your face. You can't do anything about it.

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

@WhatIdLike2Tell @WhatIdLike2Tell Although I do consider myself to be funny, I am sure I am not as funny as the Nathan Thomas you are celebrating in this tweet and podcast.

So, comedian Nathan Thomas, kudos to you for upholding the responsibility of making those with our name look good!

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

When the Chiefs are having fun, the other team is done.

#KCChiefs
#ChiefsKingdom

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

I m coining it: Pattyball

Martyball when you want it. Mahomes when you need it.

@Chiefs
@SportsRadio810
@610SportsKC
@SSJWHB

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

@nathan77t @parler_app You are not @nathanthomas. I am. Do you not know your own tag, @nathan77t? Or are you just a badly designed Russian bot designed to inflate the perception that users are 'flocking' to it?

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

I just used FUCKOFF as a noun.

"What a FUCKOFF!"

MIT License. Use it as you please.

#FUCKOFF

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

We are not erasing history. We are erasing the narrative that these men were heroes. They were not. They were traitors. That is how they should be remembered.

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

Queer Eye?

More like Teer Eye.

#QueerEye

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

Thanks to an adorable 8 year old girl I am walking around the house singing about buttholes.

#IWonderWhatsInsideYourButthole

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

@ElvisCostello Will you please help her finish this song? The chorus immediately reminded me of a hook you would write. I think it would be awesome to see the two of you sing it together . . . well, you know . . . after the minipocalypse is over.

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

My pants, shoes, underwear, and dress shirts probably think I am dead.

Meanwhile, my t-shirts, basketball shorts, and pajamas wish that I were.

#StayAtHome

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

Texan: I'm from Texas.

Me: Fancy Texas?

Texan: Naw, Plano, Texas.

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

St. Patrick just led the snakes out if Arrowhead.

#KansasCityChiefs
#PatrickMahomes

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

Holy shit.

[Millie @Milliennial]

Why is it that “thoughts and prayers” are the only things that we can do to keep schoolchildren safe,

but we need a multi-billion dollar wall to keep us safe from Mexico?

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

@Mitumba10 @PreetBharara Desperation. Fear. Racism. Sexism.

[NathanThomas @NathanThomas]

@CommRead @ESBray @The614Ohioan @kylegriffin1 I think all bills before Congress should have that limitation. No riders, no poison pills.