Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key

Parody account - used to be Soymon Brudges, Todd Duller, Crusher Collins. I am the second coming, not of Jesus but of John - hallowed be his name.

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

You can find it here: https://t.co/Z6pguwOcqf

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

“Christopher, do you really want a Deputy PM who has been standing up for a bloke who either got away with murder or, best case, is a whore mongering, P head that drove his wife to suicide?”

Well, when you put it like that - perhaps best I read Nick's Kōrero - it's free today.

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

Link here, because X makes substack tweets die a death:
https://t.co/z8OCgej5hJ

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

"Nicola’s dad makes his money from fossil fuels. When she told him her government was going to scrap the ban on the exploration of new gas and oil fields that must have been quite a father/daughter moment!"

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

Why you should vote for me!

https://t.co/BKTnM3zQqn

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

What could possibly go wrong?

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

A look at all the scenarios that Winston brings into play. From reneging on promises, to sitting on the cross benches, or to the unworkable Clusterf**k of Chaos!

https://t.co/S86uMGYPdB

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

My pledge card. Would you like to sponsor me?

https://t.co/bn7Ez13Svq

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

Why do people keep taking about principles? I thought we were trying to win an election.

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

The PM lays out where he, and Labour, stand, and it's a bloody great day for the left!

https://t.co/ZnyCiaqBUo

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

We're right behind you, New Zealand. Sleep well.

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

I am an enigma. Try saying that fast!

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

So Christopher Luxon is all for banning cell phones in schools, but he isn't sure about fizzy drinks.

He agrees with feeding hungry school kids in principle, but National will review whether it's good value.

And people want this guy to be Prime Minister?

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

Bloody Labour, trying to out road us - as if!

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

There were two big policy announcements from the left yesterday. Which one appeals to you?

https://t.co/hd7yKHLdP0

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

Hmm, I'm not sure they've captured my best side.

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

Free today from Nick's Kōrero: Naked Narcissism.

https://t.co/h1KEnPtU2A

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

That's me!

"Simeon Brown, National spokesman for Moar Roads, and Christopher Luxon, leader with responsibility for grinning inanely in the face of the climate crisis, announced they would spend half a billion dollars fixing the holes in the roads."

https://t.co/QkEkL9FrAv

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

He means me, right?

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

Free today from Nick's Kōrero: "In It For You"

https://t.co/tTuDfNjB41

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

Ahem, I think you mean when, not if.

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

Morning all. A free newsletter ahead of Matariki on the impact to race relations in this country if Christopher Luxon wins the election.

https://t.co/tkgsxciJyD

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

Bloody deputy Dave, you'd think he'd blimmin invented tough love!

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

Today in Nick's Kōrero: A Hard ACT To Follow.

https://t.co/ByF3raIqWG

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

What a bloody great idea!

https://t.co/Oc9640QDIQ

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

Can't quite put my finger on it. LOL.

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

Today In Nick's Kōrero: A tale of two mayors.

https://t.co/3QF8bKfqX8

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

I forgot what I looked like with hair. Could be an option if the polls don't get better.

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

Could it happen here? A free newsletter.

https://t.co/lVEJmylulo

[Chris Luxon - the second coming of Key @NatsLeader]

WTF?

[Nick Rockel @nickarockel]

Is time running out for Christopher Luxon?

https://t.co/HObJucrK0s