Neal Horovitz

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Scotland fans trying to pronounce Massachusetts towns is something you need to see today

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking.”

Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “burial.”

[Adrian McKinty @adrianmckinty]

An I don’t think my mate is entirely kidding Pope take “you don’t understand the context here Adrian, this is a long bitter war between rival factions that has now been decided by God coming down on the side of Chicago style pizza…”

[Joe @not_so_gratian]

You know who else was Catholic, from Chicago, and on a mission from God…?

[Neal Horovitz @NealHorovitz]

@GreggHurwitz @RealCharlaine I was just talking to someone about Quiller at the Gallifrey One Doctor Who convention the other day. You can find all 13 episodes of the TV series on Youtube.

[Neal Horovitz @NealHorovitz]

@GreggHurwitz How can you be in Palo Alto and Campbell on the same day at the same time? 🤔 I'm assuming they are on sequential days. Looking forward to the tour

[Kat Abughazaleh @KatAbughazaleh]

Philadelphia DA issues warning to anyone who wants to "play militia" or engage in voter intimidation tomorrow:

"We do have the cuffs. We do have the jail cells. We do have the Philly juries. ... F around and find out."

[Dan Shafer @DanRShafer]

it's Election Day eve, so don't forget to put out milk and cookies for the founding fathers before you go to bed

[Neal Horovitz @NealHorovitz]

@GreggHurwitz From a distance and without my glasses they look like they are sweatshirts for X (formally twitter).

[Neal Horovitz @NealHorovitz]

@denise_dewald I usually have several masks on hand. Some through insurance and some out of pocket. I usually replace everything when the head piece connection points break (very thin plastic where the strap passes through) or they start to leak.

[TJ Newman (Available NOW: WORST CASE SCENARIO) @T_J_Newman]

apropos of nothing, i think we'll need some reality escaping fiction this fall so order the book i wrote about the results of a plane crashing into a nuclear power plant which SOUNDS PRETTY CHILL RIGHT NOW
https://t.co/PS4XqEFE8p

[Don Winslow @donwinslow]

HOW have I never heard this?

The one and only ETTA JAMES covering THE EAGLES.

Take It To The Limit...

https://t.co/4Wnrlojw7s

[mariana Z @mariana057]

People who confuse the words, “burro” and “burrow”...

Don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground.

[Neal Horovitz @NealHorovitz]

@denise_dewald Nobody buys fruitcake. They only receive them. 😁 Happy Holidays to you and your family. 🥳

[Neal Horovitz @NealHorovitz]

@denise_dewald 1. My neighbors had the encyclopedias. 😁

[Neal Horovitz @NealHorovitz]

@denise_dewald Disappointed is not the word I would use. Hatred is closer.

[A-A-Ron @AaronAtticus23]

@SanJoseSharks @SAP

[Disney+ @DisneyPlus]

Discover the untold story of how Harrison Ford became Indiana Jones.

Timeless Heroes Indiana Jones & Harrison Ford, streaming December 1 on #DisneyPlus.

[Neal Horovitz @NealHorovitz]

@FitzyGFY Schaeffer - so at least there is beer. 🍻

[Neal Horovitz @NealHorovitz]

@denise_dewald Denise, are you telling me you didn't turn into a zombie?