Ben C

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

If you get pulled over for a DWI, you should get 1 chance to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart w/o falling off. If you can, you're free to go.

[Dum Science Memes @DoYouScience]

It is a crime to share your Netflix password. (Tennessee)

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

ah Whiskey, letting me know that calling my Ex is always a great decision!

[山越 正治 （Seiji Yamagoe） @seiji_yamagoe]

Remember if you don't get drunk...the terrorists win. #Merica

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

I have an amazing ability of finding the best places to take a dump in my city.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Today I’m gonna get high and see if the Nixon tapes sync up to Pink Floyd.

[Ben C @NebTobahc]

@livnicolle if you don't already know you do, then the answer is you don't

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

If women want equal rights, they can start putting the toilet seat down themselves.

[Adam Carolla @adamcarolla]

Over under on number of shots of Peyton Manning doing nothing in owners booth sunday

[Ben C @NebTobahc]

Saw it happen once. The guy got up dazed, the driver wasn't apologetic at all

[Ben C @NebTobahc]

@drivebypylon Sadly, rachel, I'm sure there's more than a few people who say that.

[Canadian Problems @CanadianProbz]

attentively watching the zamboni to see if it misses a spot #canadianprobz

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Saturday afternoon cleaning has commenced. And by cleaning, I mean drinking a beer and spraying everything with Febreeze.

[Ben C @NebTobahc]

Am I tweeting while I poo, or pooing while I tweet? America, you decide.

[Canadian Problems @CanadianProbz]

When the drive thru at tims is longer than just going inside and ordering #canadianprobz

[Ben C @NebTobahc]

"@EpicTweets_: If two past lovers can remain friends, it's either they were never in love, or they still are." Lol how relevant

[Ben C @NebTobahc]

@kmilez666 Its somewhere in nicks room. If not, I'll give you a matt damon movie as an apology

[Ben C @NebTobahc]

@hollabackenny last saturday of the month buddy. Or heads up at tims

[Norman N. @oldmansearch]

yam poisoning