Don'tCallMeSurely

There's nowhere you can go, that you haven't learned how to go in time. -Grosse Pointe Blank

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

Getting new phone. If I don't get it figured out. Goodbye cruel world

[North Dakota Spurs @NodakSpurs]

It's been almost 9 years since *that* goal but I still yell shoot whenever Rose gets the ball outside the box

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

Woke up today sure of one thing, and one thing only, that at no point in the day would I be harmonizing in the car to Take That's 'Back for Good.' The 90s channel had other ideas.

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

WebMD leading to self-diagnosis is a notoriously unadvisable web mistake. An underrated one is: dream interpretation. In the former, the mole will most likely go away on its own. But you can't unlearn what you find out from the latter.

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

If the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist; the second-greatest is the illusion that parts of the car have 2-degree differences.

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

Akron is basically closer to being able to claim a #B1GFCG title tonight than the Gophers have been in 50 years.

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

And I bow in my toga to today's breakfast joint, which pretty much just played the soundtrack to Animal House while I had my bacon and eggs. No amount of #sdwx can ruin that.

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

@WPlayas @krissys_kitchen In school, I was taught typewriters.

[The Citadel Football @CitadelFootball]

WE SCORED. 🏈🏈

Touchdown Smith.

@LSUfootball

@HailStateFB

It isn't that hard guys.

Q2: 11:42

'Dogs: 7 - Tide: 7

#FireThoseCannons | #BeatBAMA

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

Uncle Wayne: when I was your age, we didn't get to watch movies in the car.
Nephew: this is 2018. Not 19-something.

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

As a South Dakotan visiting this far-away land, I have been impressed by the Langdon quarterback and Benson from HCV. But it's going to be tough for the Burros without more from the others. #DakotaBowlXXVI

[Dakota Bowl @nddakotabowl]

OFFENSIVE INDIVIDUAL STATS

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

Then there's this. Which is why I understand my friends who can't stand soccer.

[Stan Sport Football @StanSportFC]

Unbelievable.

Manchester City were awarded a penalty after this effort from Raheem Sterling.

#UCL #OptusSport

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

Me, trying to hear my friends who say soccer is boring. #JUVMUN #ChampionsLeague #mourinho

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

@bumperpickner @wtnspurs Best team ever coached by Coach K. First Take, I'm ready for the show. 🔥

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

So begins the six months of my car clock being an hour fast because I can't fix it. #DaylightSavingTime

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

Wife: why is the replay button broken?
Me: No idea.

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

The story tonight is Purdue, says Fowler. No, it's not. The story is the losing team.

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

There was a lot going on in the recently-released single Fast Car. But, I don't think Tracy Chapman should have been so focused on a fast car. Reliable. Reliable. That's the key. Slow and steady.

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

Wait. It's legal to run the ball into the end zone? #skol

[Don'tCallMeSurely @NeededNewHandle]

That feeling when you look across the bar and catch another patron joining you in lip synching the Farmer's Insurance tag line and closing