Some of you men need to be studied in a laboratory because WHAT exactly is going on up there??? 😭🔬
You have the survival instincts of a decorative pillow and the confidence of a divorced billionaire. 💀
SIRRRR. PICK A STRUGGLE. 😭
You spend 45 minutes crafting a reply so you don't seem too interested.
Then check your phone 19 times to see if I responded. 🫵🏻🤣
BABE THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE CIRCUS. 🎪💋
And don't even get me STARTED on the whole "I don't chase women" performance.
Oh REALLY??? 🤨
Because one cute girl with an attitude could type "interesting." and you'd spend the next three business days investigating what you did wrong. 🕵️♂️😭
Your ancestors survived wars.
Your grandfather built a house with his bare hands.
And YOU??? 🫵🏻
You just lost an argument to a girl lying in bed wearing pink pajamas and eating shredded cheese out of the bag. 🎀🧀
THE BLOODLINE IS IN SHAMBLES. 💀
And the absolute AUDACITY to call yourself emotionally unavailable???
Sweetheart, you're emotionally available in 4K ULTRA HD with subtitles and bonus footage. 📺😭
I haven't even started being mean yet.
You're literally getting humbled by the FREE TRIAL. 💋