Neil Berliner

Writes jokes, coaches funny folks...

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

There should be an "Ice Bucket Challenge" for bloated.

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

Tiger Woods' ex breaks up with boyfriend. I wish she'd marry & divorce Jeremy Irons, marry Rick Perry and become Elin Woods-Irons-Putz.

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

I'm thinking #rhubarb could be the next #kale.
(If it plays it's cards right)

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

"Scrabble World Championship" happening today. Looks like some "Words with Friends" ripoff. #scrabble #wordswithfriends

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

I guess it's, "Morgue and Mindy" now...
#ROBIN #RobinWilliamsWillLiveOnForever

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

Don't just visit Gaza.
Visit Trip Advisor Gaza. #TRIPADVISOR #GAZA #NEILBERLINERCOMEDY

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

Why don't car thieves just dress up as valet parking guys?

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

Don't worry. That isolation room in that hospital in #Atlanta is almost as good as the one on "Family Feud".
#EBOLA

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

@EricAckAckAck @DanBilzerian @sternshow @SternFBSuperfan

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

CNN: #RandPaul and #ChrisChristie Sounding Alike Really? Which said "Pass that fucking potato salad!" vs "Ma'am, hand me that hair curler?"

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

Happy "Dead Birthday" Casey Stengel! #HAPPYDEADBIRTHDAY #NEILBERLINERCOMEDY

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

THIS JUST IN: NYC Cop Sues For "Spiderman Brutality" #SpiderMan #NYPD #NeilBerlinerComedy.com

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

I have so much fun thinking I'm in show business.
#LAHDEEDAH

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

THIS JUST IN: U.S. Issues Travel Warning to #Gaza
Also: Don't Drink #Clorox

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

THIS JUST IN:
"U.N. Condemns Downing of #Malaysian Flight"
CORRECTION:
"U.N. Condemns Parking Tickets for Diplomats" #UnitedNations

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

To the #CaseyKasem Grave Robbers: We'll trade you the stiff for #CousinBrucie , no questions asked...

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

#Gored "Running with the Bulls" author's next 2 books: "Avoiding #STDs During Unprotected Sex" & "Keeping A Few Fingers While Igniting M80s"

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

#SarahPalin wants to co-host, #TheView . I think she should have her own show, to express all her thoughts. It'll be called, "The Few".

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

7:10 PM and not a single trick-or-treater yet... #July4th

[Neil Berliner @NeilBerliner]

TJI: "Community" returning, on Yahoo. AOL rumored to be digging up Ed Sullivan. #COMMUNITY #YAHOO #AOL