Neil Titchmarsh

I know a girl called Elsa, she's into Alka Seltzer

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@LCFC @BenChilwell Best pass hes played this year

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@ODDSbible I was there, blatant setup

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@IAmChrisRamsey my wife thinks your face belongs in our family photo frame

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

Hey @Tesco I'm not so sure that 5.7g of sugars can fit into 4.7g of carbs. Could be wrong though #helpadiabeticout

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@IAmChrisRamsey waiting for some funny guy from oop north to tell us a joke

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

My amazing wife bought me tickets to see @IAmChrisRamsey tonight after being hospitalised and missing his June 6th show #topwagging #2arms3drips

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@gregjames I still think you really missed a trick by not calling it Pasty Parcel

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@IAmChrisRamsey Wife bought me tickets to see you for my birthday. I'm afraid we arent going to make it. #sheprefersyourwifeanyway

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@bet365 what are the odds for burnley to finish above arsenal?

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

Well done @apple wife had an appointment for 2pm today at your leicester store. She had a text at 12.50 saying she missed her slot and when she got there at 2pm she was told her appointment had gone and she's now got to wait #genius

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

Eternal gratitude to @subaruuk Any other car and I might not have got to spend those precious final minutes with my Nan #devontodartford

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@aFishyBlueThing @Tesco we did the rice, good job i did or else i might be hungry!

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

So according to the packaging this curry from @Tesco serves two... #whatajoke

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@antanddec new bushtucker trial: mannequin challenge! Stand still for 30 seconds with the critters #getonit

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@btsportfootball quite literally the worst free giveaway ever

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

Being ignored at @Sandicliffe loughborough for 15mins and now late for work #customerservice

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@nextofficial we like the dress just pointing out the error #loveafreebiethough

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

Hi @nextofficial strangest peach I've ever seen #notsopeachy

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

@Treyarch do you make the ps3 version crash deliberatly to make me buy a ps4 instead?

[Neil Titchmarsh @NeilTitchmarsh]

Yo @Treyarch, do you intentionally make each COD progressively worse?