Neil Turton

D/M R/L/C. If I was a linesman, I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides. Don't know where things are in B&Q.

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

Paging Doctor Marcel!!

[HalfManHalfBiscuit @DailyHMHBLyrics]

I dream of occasional fanzine mentions 
I've been to one too many David Lynch Conventions 
I play postal chess with a man who doesn't know me 
I've got a better frown than Tony Iommi 
And I've got a 4AD3DCD
A 4AD3DCD

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

Interesting that these people are technically classed as actors #BritishSoapAwards

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

@AlunEdwards @dave_digger Yes sir

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

18 wickets today please mate

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

@Manly2000 I wish 😞

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

Need friends to visit me and play Scythe.

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

I’ve weighed up all the pros and cons of watching the under 21s, now let me gaze upon your curves instead of Ipswich Town reserves

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

#HMHB

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

Get Arteta, play him in midfield, let me pretend it's 2007 again.

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

When a song starts with "Ground control to Monty Don"...

[Andrew Harrison @Nndroid]

Cancel everything, let joy unfurl, it’s New Half Man Half Biscuit Album Day. https://t.co/WckaAtYuRG

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

My renewed enthusiasm will of course disappear when we sign Wilshere

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

@GuyTurton There’s only one princess in my heart #Diana #dodi

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

What a week, got my club back go on holiday and got a new HMHB album

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

#alehousefutsal

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

Yes. Please https://t.co/Z5t8q5xb9N

[HMHB Lyrics Project @hmhb_lyrics]

Happy New Half Man Half Biscuit Album Day, everyone! CD and vinyl available at all the expected outlets, or online for download and streaming. Please RT ...and enjoy! #HMHB

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

@AlunEdwards 😂😂

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

Some coin in the barbers telling me the sacking was a disgrace. Absolute Brexit

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

@AlunEdwards I’m not biting anymore than to say two points off 9th is not “deep shit”. #brexit

[Neil Turton @NeilTurton]

@AlunEdwards Anyone who thinks that votes leave