Nel Formaldehyde

Make your Mum say “tomato”.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@TheAliceSmith The big one. Post-victory, under no circumstances offer consensus or compromise. Fill the public institutions - police, judiciary etc - with your placemen, set up new regulatory bodies to wave new policy through without scrutiny, grind your defeated opponents into the earth.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@BrianRoemmele This is one of the most inept cover versions ever recorded.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@FUDdaily @nickdixon Ironically the EXACT same people who now profess that exalted period to have been the last time this country was unified in purpose, were at the time describing the UK as an austerity-ravaged wasteland, catastrophically wrecked by David Cameron and George Osborne.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@DipBrig11 @MartinSLewis @WilloWispish I cut those bottle lids off, save them all in a big plastic bag and every fourth weekend, I go to the park and feed them to geese. And then chuck the empty bag in the nearest waterway.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@DickDelingpole Foulkes is a low-wattage meeting-attender of very long standing. Decades at the public teat and barely a post-it note of accomplishments to show for it.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@GenuisHealth Understood - poach the chicken first and then roast it afterwards, ensuring not the remotest trace of moisture remains in the meat.

If it still isn’t desiccated enough, give it 10 minutes in the deep fat fryer for the full ‘chewing cardboard’ effect.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@GenTXer2 I didn’t think they looked at all cool at the time, but they were a guilty pleasure, and I went to see them play live when they toured the UK in 1990. “What He Don’t Know” is the one from this particular album that I still listen to most.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@Mike_Batt I listened to my Wombles LPs avidly as a 9-year-old in the 70s. The chord progressions and arrangements on songs like ‘To Wimbledon With Love’ ‘Myths & Legends of King Merton’ ‘Tobermory’ ‘The Orinoco Kid’ etc literally showed me the endless possibilities of pop music. Thank you!

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@toadmeister The American comic Norm McDonald perfectly defined the phenomenon: “A good comedian says things to make people laugh. A bad comedian says things to make people clap.”

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@ben_foth @Noirchick1 It really has no redeeming qualities. It’s abysmal.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@ben_foth @Noirchick1 ‘Wolf of Wall Street’, no question. You could edit it down to half its length without losing anything worthwhile and it’d STILL leave 90 tedious minutes about some things a bunch of unappealing dickheads got up to 35 years ago.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@AllisonPearson The very worst part of the whole thing has been the legion of complete prats saying “double bagel”.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@StatisticUrban Which is why modern movie/tv protagonists so often find themselves in places where there is absolutely no cellphone reception (!) or, despite the cell being absolutely vital for their work, casually forget to charge it, rendering it useless at the exact moment it’s needed.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@TheReturnOfLCF Sadly, now regularly found giving hand-jobs for crack on the canal basin behind the old Olympic Park.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@JournalistJill Please point me to the trans women who know how to accessorise. They are usually men with no dress sense who imagined that donning an outfit that looks like an OAP died in it would magically make them attractive. Most of the fuckers don’t even appear to know what shampoo is for.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@everymovieplug The exact same grift appears in the 1973 movie “Paper Moon”, as depicted by the then 10-year-old Tatum O’Neal.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@EmmaManzini Preferred Suede to both. Still do.

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@VictoriaCoren That moment when you look at the grid and realise one of the classifications is going to be something like “Nicknames of Tri-State Pickleball Pennant Winners.”

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@zatzi Shades of Ed Miliband’s wince-inducing “Hell yeah, I’m tough enough!”

[Nel Formaldehyde @NelFormaldehyde]

@matthewdmarsden Stop worrying. Glastonbury’s audience has comprised middle-class basics for years now. They’ve all been given a flag and they’re waving it just because everyone else is. They’ll have forgotten all about it tomorrow when Poppy & Imogen start texting invites to the Summer Ball.