Nel_O

Peace, be still!
||MUSIC and MEDICiNE; LOVED and LOST.

[Nel_O @Nel_zin]

"Power is always dangerous, it attracts the worst and corrupts the best. Power is only given to those who are prepared to lower themselves to pick it up."

-Ragnar Lothbrok

[VIKINGS]

[Ehigimetor @ehigymetor]

This video gets funnier every time you watch it 😂🤣😂

[Nel_O @Nel_zin]

So the real question is, where did it all go wrong?
#maxsiollun #theforgottenera
@maxsiollun

[Olanrewaju Emmanuel @Horlasco1058469]

@kenkenlewu As the Yoruba say, you may have a difficult spouse, but don't have bad in-laws, because when your spouse goes astray, their parents should be able to call them to order

[Cjay🌎 @AnyanwuMalachy]

For the first time ever, from my apartment I heard Mr. Timi yell on top his voice loudly against his wife, and then followed the loud shattering of a glass cup against the floor.

He then stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him while moving like a possessed beast.

He then went to sit in his car breathing heavily.

Then his wife rushed out begging, "daddy please I am sorry, I will not make you shout again.

At that moment, I realized that beneath the calm and soft-spoken Mr. Timi was a man managing anger that could turn to rage in a second.

- It reminded me that some people are making silent sacrifices just to keep life comfortable for those around them.

- The calm you enjoy from people may be costing them more than you know.

[𝔇 𝔘𝔫𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔜𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔅𝔞𝔡 𝔅𝔬𝔦 @balotommy]

I watched something in families that no one talks about… it always shows up years later in a painful way 💔And when it happens, everyone calls it normal... until it isn’t.

I once heard an old man say coin-for-coin in relationships is real. People keep emotional receipts, waiting for the day they can cash them out. But revenge is heavy, and both the giver and receiver end up paying interest in pain.

I think about fatherhood differently now, because many homes quietly reduce men to providers and nothing more. A man can pay school fees for 25 years and still feel like a guest in his own home.

Then comes old age, sickness, silence, and suddenly everyone remembers he is a father who needs care too. The omugwo tradition is beautiful, but when it becomes permanent relocation, something breaks quietly in the home.

Couples are meant to grow old together, not grow apart while children decide where love should live. Adult children should show up for both parents, not choose sides based on convenience or emotion.

Sometimes the biggest tragedy is not conflict, but quiet neglect that everyone justifies as normal life. And by the time we notice, it's already late.

[Gold🤍🌚 @GOLDBABYO]

Had a reason to get up. She wrote us a card when she left. Said you gave me a home when I needed one. Didn’t ask when I’d be gone. Didn’t make me feel the weight of my grief. Just let me be here. My husband taught me that. Taught me the difference between allowing someone’s presence and making them feel welcome. It’s in the counting versus not counting. It’s in the coffee in the morning. It’s in deciding they belong.

[Heisenberg ⚕️ @augsby]

You don’t fire teargas in a hospital.

You don’t drag surgeons out mid-surgery.

You don’t seize phones from staff witnessing it.

Due process exists. Even for suspects.

Especially in a hospital full of patients.

[Ada @adanonso_]

@AfamDeluxo A lot of people don’t realize how much of their relationship advice is actually unresolved bitterness disguised as wisdom.

[Ada @adanonso_]

When we moved to Canada, my husband surprised me with a car because I am proudly Team Mercedes or Nothing.

The funniest part was that it happened on HIS birthday. I was so excited I posted it on WhatsApp immediately.

Not long after, one of our acquaintances called him. Unfortunately for that man, the phone was on speaker.

He started, “You dey buy woman car when you never buy for yourself? Shey you know say you dey make mistake? No be so dem dey do am ooh.”

I was already preparing my anger in the background.

But my husband just laughed and said,
“Then I want to make more mistakes like that. In fact, if you have more advice on mistakes I should make for my wife, please continue.”

Silence. The man ended the call himself.

Till today they’ve never spoken again because apparently loving your wife loudly is now poor financial decision-making.

I genuinely don’t know why some people project their personal relationship disasters onto other people’s lives like it’s a community outreach program.

[Nel_O @Nel_zin]

No better way to reply him tbh.

[Ada @adanonso_]

When we moved to Canada, my husband surprised me with a car because I am proudly Team Mercedes or Nothing.

The funniest part was that it happened on HIS birthday. I was so excited I posted it on WhatsApp immediately.

Not long after, one of our acquaintances called him. Unfortunately for that man, the phone was on speaker.

He started, “You dey buy woman car when you never buy for yourself? Shey you know say you dey make mistake? No be so dem dey do am ooh.”

I was already preparing my anger in the background.

But my husband just laughed and said,
“Then I want to make more mistakes like that. In fact, if you have more advice on mistakes I should make for my wife, please continue.”

Silence. The man ended the call himself.

Till today they’ve never spoken again because apparently loving your wife loudly is now poor financial decision-making.

I genuinely don’t know why some people project their personal relationship disasters onto other people’s lives like it’s a community outreach program.

[Ewgi @Ssaasquatch]

Yoruba women cooked with “oko mi”. Such a clutch double entendre

[Nel_O @Nel_zin]

This exact stuff happened to me in Accra years ago.

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

I missed my flight in Nairobi once because of traffic on Mombasa Road.
Like fully missed it. I got to the airport sweaty, exhausted, dragging my suitcase like it personally betrayed me.
I already knew there was no chance, but I still ran to the counter hoping for mercy.
The woman checked her screen, looked at me, then said, “You were the last passenger.”
I laughed a little because what else do you do at that point?
Then she lowered her voice and said, “The plane is still on the ground.”
Next thing I know this airport employee is SPEED WALKING me through the terminal like we’re in an action movie.
Security waved me through, another worker grabbed my carry-on to help me run, and I’m apologizing to literally everyone while fighting for my life.
I got to the gate completely out of breath.
The guy scanning boarding passes looked at me and said, “Eh, Nairobi traffic. We understand.”
People on the plane actually clapped when I walked in looking half dead.
I have never respected airport workers more in my life. Big up to them.

[Ugochukwu Ugwoke, ISch @FrUgochukwu]

Mary, Mother of the Holy Family, intercede for our homes and families. Bring peace where there is tension, understanding where there is misunderstanding, and love where hearts have grown distant. Help every family become a place of prayer, patience, and mutual care. Amen🙏🏽

[Sidonia P Alphonse @MinisterSidonia]

Getting married is an act of faith, because there’s no perfect partner and no perfect readiness to marry.

There’s only, “I have entered this covenant trusting that He who began this good work in us will bring it to completion.”

[Lily Coy @lilycoy__]

@Dearme2_ long relationships aren't built on never hurting each other. they're built on consistently choosing to come back

[Anish Moonka @anishmoonka]

They put 17 people, married an average of 21 years, into a brain scanner and showed them a photo of their spouse. The same parts of the brain lit up that fire when a teenager has their first crush. Two decades together, and the chemistry was still going off like fireworks.

The study ran at Stony Brook in 2011. What changes after 20 years is the anxiety. That panic of not knowing if they love you back, the wondering, the checking. All of that fades. The pull toward them stays.

So that tells you what old love looks like in the brain. It doesn’t tell you how a couple gets there.

A marriage researcher named John Gottman has spent 40 years on that question. He films couples arguing in his lab at the University of Washington and predicts whether they’ll divorce. He gets it right 93.6% of the time, from 15 minutes of footage. More than 3,000 couples now.

He watches the two-second moments between sentences. The pauses. That’s where the prediction lives. The fights themselves matter less.

His go-to example: your wife is staring out the window and says, look at that bird. You glance up and say, oh wow. Or you keep scrolling on your phone. That tiny choice, that little reach for your attention, is what he calls a bid.

He watched newlyweds in his lab and followed them for six years. The couples who were still married had responded to each other’s bids 86 times out of 100. The couples who divorced had responded 33 out of 100. Same money fights. Same in-laws. Same dishes in the sink. The one thing that was different was the bird.

This part stopped me. Gottman found that 69% of the things every couple fights about are problems that never get solved. The chores. The money. His mother. Whose family they spend Christmas with. The arguments repeat for 50 years. Happy couples and unhappy couples have roughly the same list of problems. The happy ones learned to argue about that list without contempt. The eye roll. The sigh. The little smile that says you are pathetic. Gottman calls contempt the sulfuric acid of relationships. He says it’s the single biggest sign that a marriage is over.

When you see two old people asleep on each other on a plane, the forgiveness in that picture is real. They have absorbed thousands of small failures by now. There is something quieter underneath the forgiveness, though. Decades ago, one of them said look at that bird. The other one looked up.

[WelBeast @WelBeast]

I now understand why Klopp run away and quit football management at such a young age. Pep Guardiola is a maniac.

[Denera 🦢 @segokau_]

And this is why I’m having a tough time with maintaining friendships cause it’s all online w/ a dash of restaurant meet ups. Bring back visiting each other’s spaces & serving tea and cookies.

[Nel_O @Nel_zin]

@skinnie_me 🤣

[Nel_O @Nel_zin]

Best of British humour here ...

[John & Margaret @ukboomers]

Our grandson Alfie's friend moved to Miami last year. Surgeon. Was making £40,000 at the NHS. Now he makes $350,000. Left his London flatshare for a four-bed with working hot water. This country gave him everything. All he had to do was stay and fund our pensions. Ungrateful.🇬🇧