Jess Somerville

#NCSU18

[Drill Tales @themoviedrill]

I was desperate for money, so I decided to donate my sperm for compensation.

At the hospital, the doctor looked at me for a long time.

Doctor: “Do you really want to do this?”

Me: “Yes. I need the money.”

Doctor: “Have you thought about what donating your sperm actually means?”

Me: “I'm not trying to have children right now. I'm just donating.”

He sighed.

Doctor: “We'll need to run several tests first. Blood work, infection screening, genetic screening, sperm count, concentration, motility, and morphology.”

Me: “How long will that take?”

Doctor: “A few hours for the initial process. Some results take longer.”

Later, a staff member called me into another room.

Staff: “We need your sample.”

I hesitated.

Me: “And after that?”

Staff: “It will be tested and stored if it meets the required standards.”

I followed their instructions because I needed the money.

Hours passed.

Nobody came back.

I kept asking the receptionist.

Me: “Am I getting paid today?”

Receptionist: “Please wait. The doctor will speak with you.”

I didn't realize they were hiding something.

[Dalai Lama @DalaiLama]

As we teach children to observe physical hygiene for its health benefits, we need to teach them to cultivate emotional hygiene — to tackle destructive emotions and find peace of mind.

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

No one can tell me that if it had been a group of Black Lives Matter protestors yesterday that they wouldn’t have been treated very differently than the mob that stormed the Capitol.

We all know that’s true — and it’s unacceptable.

[Kaitlan Collins @kaitlancollins]

White House officials were shaken by Trump's reaction to a mob of his supporters descending on the Capitol today. He was described to me as borderline enthusiastic because it meant the certification was being derailed. It has genuinely freaked people out.

[Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris]

For centuries, justice has been symbolized as a woman, blindfolded, a scale in her hands.

Her eyes are covered because justice shouldn’t depend on the color of your skin.

It shouldn’t depend on how much money you have.

Justice should be impartial. Our DOJ will ensure it is.

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

What we witnessed yesterday was not dissent — it was disorder.

They weren’t protestors — they were rioters, insurrectionists, and domestic terrorists.

I wish we could say we couldn’t see it coming, but that isn’t true. We could.

[Guide For Guys @ThepowerfulPics]

“No”

[Guide For Guys @ThepowerfulPics]

RT if you read it as "Kid Sex Change"

[Guide For Guys @ThepowerfulPics]

On the menu tonight macaroni and fuck it.

[Guide For Guys @ThepowerfulPics]

You had one job...

[Guide For Guys @ThepowerfulPics]

Nailed it.

[Guide For Guys @ThepowerfulPics]

Not sure how that's going to work...

[Guide For Guys @ThepowerfulPics]

This man taking the worst shortcut ever: http://t.co/hBbrkZF3P2