NewDadWhoDis?

I'm a new, first time dad and it's insane.

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

I can't get used to the name we picked for the baby so now I'm calling him Donkey as in Donkey of Shrek fame.

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

Fact:

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

My baby just threw up all over my @napalmdeath shirt and I'm not sure if that means he hates or loves them.

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

Teething suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

Motorcycles: We Hate Sleeping Babies But We LOVE To Wake Them Up©

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

Today's baby nickname: Crank Sinatra #newdad #babynames

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

Today's baby nickname: Brat Pitt #newdad #parenting #babyboy

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

HONEY I ACCIDENTALLY FILLED THE BABY'S BOTTLE WITH RED BULL
Oh god, is he sick
HE'S GOT ME IN A HEAD LOCK AND IS SAYING I'M A NERD. CALL 911

[chip malfunction @online_shawn]

Babies can ride horses, just not for very long.

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

Having a baby is incredibly hard.

[ret @rad_milk]

hello this is my daughter Korn, pronounced like Corinne

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

Classic prank idea: walk around office carrying blankets like a baby and when people walk over to see the baby it's just a #footlong sub.

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

she was a nap machine // she kept her diapers clean
she was the best damn baby that I've ever seen

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

Nobody has ever or will ever shit as much as my son. #Science #factsmatter #prouddad #newdad #howisthisevenpossible #itisinsane

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

My baby son is the enemy of sleep and champion of pissing and shitting. Cool life skills, bud.

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

Today's baby nickname: Farty McFly #backtothefuture #mysonfartsalot #grossbabiesoftwitter

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

@BillNye & @neiltyson every time I tell my newborn son he's my best friend he gives me a dirty look.Scientifically speaking,does he hate me?

[NewDadWhoDis? @NewDadWhoDis]

My baby does this cool trick where just as you're about to close his new diaper he pisses himself so you have to start over. SO. COOL. #jerk

[Brian Shaper @TriandDad]

@NewDadWhoDis he owns you now.