New Oneliners

One liners.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.

He's retired, aka tired again.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

After all men only have a single X chromosome.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Their bite was stronger than their bark.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

I didn't know angels could fly so low.

You don't take yourself as lightly.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

Some experiments with consciousness use masking: a brief visual stimulus is preceded and followed by longer interfering stimuli.

The nude scene in "Titanic" was a brief visual stimulus. The rest of the movie was interfering stimuli.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

Experiments show that using a cell phone while driving increases the likelihood of an accident by four times.

That increases to 8 times as likely if the phone is being used to play a driving game.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

Effects of meditation have been seen in the: Cortex: Senses Action, Thinking, Planning.

And often the way people dress.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

Certain areas of the amygdala may influence sexual preference and orientation.

This part was known to the ancient Greeks as the "Beer Mug of Dionysus."

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

Just noticeable difference JND: Minimal change in a stimulus that can just barely be detected.

Like your partner's haircut.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

Married men or those in a committed relationship generally have lower testosterone levels.

Which explains why after several years of marriage men do not object to going antiquing with their wives.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

The average family size is decreasing.

See, we don't have an obesity problem.

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

Cingulate corpus is wrapped around inside the cortex. “Cingulate” is Latin for, ‘ring’ or ‘belt.

As the great philosopher quoted, If you like it you should put cingulate on it...

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

'How to dismantle a nuclear bomb'

Peace by peace.

__
https://t.co/00XgGJrIQs

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

'Care for cats? So did people along the Silk Road more than 1,000 years ago'

More than the silk did.

__
https://t.co/aSuf8RpWnA

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

'Have we detected dark energy? Scientists say it's a possibility'

Dim chance.

__
https://t.co/Pn0Q9TpWso

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

'How many Earth-like planets are around sun-like stars?'

In whey-like galaxies.

__
https://t.co/QdHv8g2uq9

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

'Machine learning predicts behavior of biological circuits'

Bio logically.

__
https://t.co/qbUY3br34D

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

'Cold planets exist throughout our galaxy, even in the galactic bulge, research suggests'

Even the galactic bulge is a bit less when it's that cold.

__
https://t.co/x1jp4io969

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

'Discovery at 'flower burial' site could unravel mystery of Neanderthal death rites'

Neanderthals clubbed hippes.

__
https://t.co/tiyNLXeNWy

[New Oneliners @NewOneliners]

'Quantum Device: Ultrafast Electron Microscopy Leads to Pivotal Discovery'

If we could just find that electron, before the card castle collapses.

__
https://t.co/ANLKxkvhfu