The Polish government is planning a manned space mission to the sun
When asked if they are afraid the mission will end in disaster, they responded, βno, we are not worried, we are going at night β.
(Credit the late great norm mcdonald)
Quantifying a successful parent
People often ask, 'hey, how can you tell if you're a good parent?'
Easy! it's the ratio of people food to dog food your kid eats by the time your kid turns five. If you don't have a dog, you're a bad parent.
Husband: 'Scientists have found that men say about 10,000 words a day, while women say about 20,000...'
Wife (shouts from the kitchen): 'It's because we have to repeat everything twice to you blockheads!'
Husband: 'What?'
I think the reason that schools are so dangerous is because of the name 'School'
If we renamed all education centres as 'Uterus' then republicans might actually care about what's inside them.