Nick Reif

Funny guy

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

Someone remind me to turn off the sprinkler in like an hour

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

@JesseBWatters fuck you

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

like snow

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

Phones eat first. toasters eat second. printers third. the machines have taken over. they’ve built a society. humans have gone into hiding. it’s the beginning of the end.

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

What’s putin’s @ I got some things to say

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

Forgot to tell you all that last week I had donuts, pizza, steak and cocktails all in the same day and it was dope as hell

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

I wish Disney still had 90s balls like when Clayton literally HANGED himself at the end of Tarzan

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

America is only okay

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

@elonmusk is her name Shelon Shmusk and it’s you in lipstick

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

When the dentist uses your chest as a table

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

I’m at the point where I only start new shows if I know they haven’t been canceled and have an actual ending

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

I want to become an actor just to be in some bloopers

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

I have free uber eats delivery for another month because I forgot to cancel. Anyone want anything?

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

Petition to have 3 disposal cans at each house: garbage, recycling, and “things I don’t want but are in okay shape and someone else could probably use them”

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

Someone make me the duke of something

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

Why do on-ramp stoplights feel optional

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

Where my Tremors fans at

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

Can’t believe all my feet pics got leaked

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

Gee the traffic is terrific /s

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

slava zelensky

[Nick Reif @NickReif]

Ur alg is off @netflix