Nick Rimes

Retired accountant, generally nice, LCFC fan, patriot, anti-EU, hates the feckless, lazy and stupid but loves dogs, real ale and pizza. All views are my own.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

Loved the fact that SkySports News has just shown a caption of the Premier table with Leicester at the top (January completed transfers)

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

No idea why I thought of you @SartorialThug

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

Depends whether you "found it" outside your home!

[Mr Blonde @Kearney3Mr]

Nothing beats picking up a beer can, thinking it’s empty, and it’s really heavy… it’s beautiful ❤️

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

Feeling really rough today, coming down with something bad, had a whisky to try and ward it off ... not working.

[#Marcher @MarcherReborn]

I’m in trouble now lads, wife’s on her way home from work and I’m upside down - been ‘sur-le-piss’ since 1pm - trying to look semi-sober 🍺🍸🍺🍸

Any tips?

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

Post a pic of yourself in the 70s ...

[Johnny Moline 🐊 🌴🦩🦎 @johnmccumber]

Post a pic of yourself in the 70s.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

@RobertJenrick @GHWTowler simole answer, get them to sell plastic cutlery eg 1 spoon for £1 and give the cakes etc for free. Legally selling the spoon and zero tax.

[Robert Jenrick @RobertJenrick]

Don’t let them eat cake!

Just when you thought you’d heard it all from Labour, this happened…

Labour run Bassetlaw District Council, which covers part of my constituency, is imposing a tax on people selling homemade cakes or fresh eggs from boxes at their front gates.

They’ve set this absurd tax at an astonishing £1,007. Yes, you read that correctly, everyone who has the audacity to try to make a few quid from a bit of home baking, or offers boxes of fresh eggs, usually with an honesty box, has to pay Labour a stonking great fee for the privilege.

As most people don’t even make £1,007 a year for doing this, presumably this is designed to end this harmless and in fact very endearing practice altogether.

Honesty boxes, eggs, cakes, biscuits, sold at a farm gate or the end of the driveway in a rural village.. what could be more quintessentially English. Well, not under Labour. These people govern us as if they hate our country.

To make the whole thing more absurd, the fine for failing to pay the £1,007 had been set at £1,000. So you would be better off not paying at all and get fined…

I’ve written to Bassetlaw District Council to protest. Bassetlaw’s common sense Reform UK councillors are committed to reversing this idiocy if they take control of the council next year. Another reason to boot out Labour and back Reform UK.

Has there ever been a more incompetent and out of touch group of people running our country than this Labour government and their town hall toadies?

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

@EnvAgencyMids @Feargal_Sharkey

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

Cappuccino?

[The King of Blackadder 👑🇬🇧 @pitchblacksteed]

To many of us, #Blackadder is part of every day parlance. Which phrases from the show do you use yourself and when you do you use them? Example: When someone offers me a cup of tea, I say: "Yes, immediately!" You get the idea. Will RT the best ones.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

@MartinSLewis retired local government accountant

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

@MartinSLewis if you're salaried you will be paid for weekends and bank holidays. So if you're leaving then pre-date your notice to finish on the last day of the month eg if you wish to leave on Friday 29th May, give 2 months' notice wef Tues 31/03/26 to end 31/05/26.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

@MartinSLewis if you're salaried you will be paid for weekends and bank holidays. So if you're leaving then pre-date your notice to finish on the last day of the month eg if you wish to leave on Friday 29th May, give 2 months' notice wef Tues 31/03/26 to end 31/05/26.

[Martin Lewis @MartinSLewis]

TELL US: What tips have you picked up from your current or past jobs that would save others money? What specialist insider knowledge do you have that would surprise most people.

Please tell us by reply (& say what your job was) & pod producer Simon will collate some to read out.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

#MeToo

[Sartorial Thug 🍸 @SartorialThug]

@NickRimes I've studied this.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

@SartorialThug

[Fact @Fact]

When women run, their breasts bounce in a figure-8 pattern, moving side-to-side as well as up and down.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

Ask for a VAT receipt!

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I bought a HM Revenue and Customs lanyard that I wear when I go to the barbers and car wash to see the panic on the workers' faces when I go in.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

"May" not "can" ... tut! ;)

[Steven Barrett @SBarrettBar]

Children ...

🧐🤭😁

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

@SartorialThug

[Fact @Fact]

Wearing skinny jeans can cause nerve damage in your legs, a condition called "tingling thigh syndrome."

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

But @SartorialThug you'll miss the kick off Boro v LCFC on Sky lol

[Sartorial Thug 🍸 @SartorialThug]

Pub quiz starts at 8 so I'll be leaving at about 7:45

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

Fish Market per chance?

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I've no idea why one end of the gusset on knickers isn't sewn shut but it's dead useful. When I worked a market stall I'd pop into the loos at the end of the day and put a roll of £50 notes in there for safe keeping on my way home.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

@policylaila "shall" is more instructve than "will"

[Laila Cunningham @policylaila]

This is so weak. Replace “could” with “will”.
One is an invitation. The other is deterrence.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

@NotBurnside @BenedictSpence

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

Day one of my hunger strike until Burnside is returned. I forwent brown sauce at breakfast. I am now demanding an ambulance.

[Nick Rimes @NickRimes]

22 years

[Fact @Fact]

Who has had the same phone number for the last 5 years? How about 10 years?